I and my boyfriend had one of our ‘chicken fights’ as he calls them a few days ago. Well, first of all, you should know that I am an emotional person.(I can almost hear my brother say “Lily, only sometimes”). I can be very touchy and sensitive. Another thing is that I am only that way with the people I care about. And that includes you. (Please don’t run away)
Let me explain that. If a person I barely know or care about says something really bad to me, I just don’t get hurt. Maybe just a little. But if someone I care about says something even remotely bad to me, it just gets to me.
Well, my darling man is a dream come true to me but like all humans, he isn’t perfect. Neither am I anyway. I even wrote a song about that. Here is a line
“Cos I am so far from perfection”
“I’m human, I get emotional”
“Help me see when I get sentimental”
(Sorry, I got a little carried away there).
Anyway, we had a fight. I was just in one of my moods and he did try his best to make me snap out of it. He had been working his butt off for a while and we hadn’t seen each other for almost two months. I didn’t even act like I was happy to see him though I was thrilled but I just couldn’t show it. It really got to him and he became mad. Now that is the imperfection, I was talking about; he has quite a temper. So we said a few things to each other and well, I got hurt. And I cried.
I cry when I am sad or really hurt. But that night, I cried like I don’t remember ever doing. You know that kind of sobbing that shakes your whole body? I don’t even know why I cried like that. It was like I was crying for the world. Which I may have been since I had flashes of the pictures of the ruins in Haiti in my mind’s eye.(I saw some pictures that just broke my heart a few days ago). It was like my eyes had been wanting to cry and made excellent use of the given opportunity.
We kissed and made up though but there is a reason I am sharing this here. It occurred to me (again) that no matter how much a person loves you, he or she might hurt you once in a while because, well, we are human. We have different opinions and ways of reasoning and we are bound to disagree and then argue and then oops! Some words might just find their way out when anger sets in. That is why counselors stress on the fact that couples must strive to understand each other and know when it is the ‘anger’ or ‘depression’ that is speaking and not their partner talking to them. Please, I am talking about the occasional fights and you know the slights and all that but not serious verbal abuse. That is a problem and the couple should get help. Now!
I do think I could use a book on “How not to get really emotional”. With some gadget called‘Ice Princess’ that keeps my emotions at bay sometimes. I am joking. It is not that bad anyway. Everyone that has a heart, gets emotional once in a while.
Ladies and gentlemen, have fun!
Lily Johnson
You're so good to share this. We women all DO have to remember that it's not the end of the world if we're hurt by someone we love. The important thing is to work it out. And cry. Sometimes crying is the best thing.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're feeling better.
Sometimes I think, you just need to cry. It builds up until you almost have to pick a fight to let it out. Crawl in a bubble bath, cry, it's good for the soul
ReplyDeleteI find crying to be terribly cathartic. And yeah...once the waterworks start....look out! It's like everything that I've been holding in comes out in one big GUSH!
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget: September 17, 2007. I cried non-stop for 2 whole days...could. not. stop.
I'll never let it back up like that again....
JD: Thanks for commenting. You are so right. Take care.
ReplyDeleteCarol: I do the bubble bath thing when i am really hurt and it is really good for the soul.
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ReplyDeleteHi Lily,
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing, that was very nice of you and very touching.
Maybe you should visit my site, I have tagged you, so please fetch your tag and hopefully you can share some more touching facts with us. :-)
Hope your day is going great!
Colin.
It is a hard lesson to learn that people you love will hurt you at times--and vice versa!! thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteKat: I actually talked about this because i think i must have cried for two hours non stop. My man told me that i was scarring him at a point. But i really felt better the next day.
ReplyDeleteColin: Hey, thanks for your comment and i am off to your site right now.
ReplyDeleteChristina Lee: Thanks for your comment. You are so right. I am really happy i shared this.
ReplyDeleteI think it's impossible not to get emotional when you really care about the other person. In fact, I think that emotion - especially overboard emotion - is the clearest sign that you care deeply about the other person.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better now darling!! :)
Cafe Fashionista: Thanks for the comment. I am feeling better.
ReplyDeleteFirst time on ur blog. Nice. I'm in a relationship too and what you've shared does happen too. Sometimes, you just don't know or can't explain why you act the way you do. When you are now alone, you then start to wonder... "erm... maybe I shouldn't have done that... I could have gone slow than loud... maybe I shld have said smthn after... guess my silence was too loud..." (this I do alot when I'm about to sleep).
ReplyDeleteIn the words of my father, "every relationship is 'work'. Like your daily job or studies, you've got to work it out (make it work).
Thanks for sharing Lily. I'm following your blog now. check mine out if and when you can :)
- LDP
Le Dynaminc: Thanks for following me. i will return the favor.
ReplyDeleteHmmm....
ReplyDelete