Beware of that date!!

Aren’t we all looking for that special someone to spend the rest of our lives with? That guy, that hunk (ahem) of a man who would chase all our fears away and make our dreams of having a perfect life filled with love, happiness and security come true.


We look for him everywhere (library, church, streets, malls, supermarkets, the internet). And of course, we go to places we hope and pray he would find us (unisex hair dressing salons, boutiques, at work, the internet).

I am about to tell you a story. A true life story. It is about what happened to a friend of mine. Just listen (read actually).

Sandra met this guy James on …the internet and they got talking. James was a Cameroonian just like Sandra but he lived in Canada while Sandra lived in Cameroon.

They called each other every day and James seemed like a nice guy to her. He told her he loved her and she…well fell in love too. Sandra was in a relationship that was headed for the rocks so this mystery man that said he was in love with her, called her everyday to make her laugh, spoke with everyone that mattered to her on phone and even sent his driver in Cameroon to bring her some money, meant the world to Sandra. She was on top of the world. They were making plans to get married, talking about how many kids they would have and where they were going to live. Yes all that.

James told her some days before his arrival to Cameroon that a Canadian girl had a child for him five months before. He said the reason he hadn’t told her earlier was because he didn’t want her to leave him. He wasn’t married to the girl. They had dated for five years and had a child. Just that. Sandra was the woman he wanted to marry. She was shattered of course. How was she going to cope with the child and the mother? Because they were going to be in the life of her man. Forever. She took it in her stride. It could have been worse right? She began to have little doubts though. Was he real? Was he really coming back to Cameroon to see her?

He did come. He was everything she wanted in a man. And while most of us were in church praying to God for a fruitful New Year, Sandra was gazing into the eyes of her new man. That and some other things (ahem) were all that Sandra did that New Year day.

The next day, prince charming suddenly changed. He began to act like she wasn’t even there. Sandra described him as a ‘rude boy’, a proper player and a serial womanizer. His driver dropped her off at her friend’s place like a wet rag with the excuse that his boss was travelling to Italy on business. And that was the end of...well everything. He did send some money to her after a few days. Not a lot. Enough to say ‘it is over’. Can you imagine that? The humiliation? Sandra felt like dirt because not only had she given her heart, she had also given her body to this man. It was painful. And to add salt to injury, someone who claimed to be James’s wife forwarded back all of Sandra’s emails to her and warned her to ‘back off’.

So my dear, in your quest to find ‘the one’, be careful. Try to find out who you are dealing with before letting yourself fall for him. It isn’t always easy but at least try. I know life is all about taking risks but you know how fragile the heart is.

And if you do get hurt, get over it. Dust yourself up and try again. There are good and responsible men out there and one of them is just waiting for a darling like you to come his way.

Don’t you ever give up. It is not the end of the world!


Lily Johnson