Saturday, January 30, 2010

My 'E' button.

Alright, I don’t know if people write about this kind of stuff in their blogs but I am sharing this with you for a reason.

I and my boyfriend had one of our ‘chicken fights’ as he calls them a few days ago. Well, first of all, you should know that I am an emotional person.(I can almost hear my brother say “Lily, only sometimes”). I can be very touchy and sensitive. Another thing is that I am only that way with the people I care about. And that includes you. (Please don’t run away)

Let me explain that. If a person I barely know or care about says something really bad to me, I just don’t get hurt. Maybe just a little. But if someone I care about says something even remotely bad to me, it just gets to me.

Well, my darling man is a dream come true to me but like all humans, he isn’t perfect. Neither am I anyway. I even wrote a song about that. Here is a line

“Cos I am so far from perfection”

“I’m human, I get emotional”

“Help me see when I get sentimental”

(Sorry, I got a little carried away there).

Anyway, we had a fight. I was just in one of my moods and he did try his best to make me snap out of it. He had been working his butt off for a while and we hadn’t seen each other for almost two months. I didn’t even act like I was happy to see him though I was thrilled but I just couldn’t show it. It really got to him and he became mad. Now that is the imperfection, I was talking about; he has quite a temper. So we said a few things to each other and well, I got hurt. And I cried.

I cry when I am sad or really hurt. But that night, I cried like I don’t remember ever doing. You know that kind of sobbing that shakes your whole body? I don’t even know why I cried like that. It was like I was crying for the world. Which I may have been since I had flashes of the pictures of the ruins in Haiti in my mind’s eye.(I saw some pictures that just broke my heart a few days ago). It was like my eyes had been wanting to cry and made excellent use of the given opportunity.

We kissed and made up though but there is a reason I am sharing this here. It occurred to me (again) that no matter how much a person loves you, he or she might hurt you once in a while because, well, we are human. We have different opinions and ways of reasoning and we are bound to disagree and then argue and then oops! Some words might just find their way out when anger sets in. That is why counselors stress on the fact that couples must strive to understand each other and know when it is the ‘anger’ or ‘depression’ that is speaking and not their partner talking to them. Please, I am talking about the occasional fights and you know the slights and all that but not serious verbal abuse. That is a problem and the couple should get help. Now!

I do think I could use a book on “How not to get really emotional”. With some gadget called‘Ice Princess’ that keeps my emotions at bay sometimes. I am joking. It is not that bad anyway. Everyone that has a heart, gets emotional once in a while.

Ladies and gentlemen, have fun!

Lily Johnson

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Just for you

When I was in boarding school, we were warned never to wear any coloured underwear; just white. Our bras, panties, camisoles and underskirts had to be white. Our house mistress even ‘checked’ us sometimes and when you saw girls being punished for wearing coloured panties, you made a mental note to obey the rule.

We even started believing that wearing coloured underwear indicated dirtiness.

I did wear only white underwear but was not completely happy about it. The problem was that I loved sheer black underwear. I was fourteen and was beginning to discover my curves. I got a set of black lace bra, panties and a small but sexy under skirt from an older (and wiser) friend as a birthday gift. I guess she was also enjoying my transformation from the stick insect to a curvy young lady. I loved the way it looked on my light skin. I couldn’t wear them at school and that was hard because that was where I spent the most time and I so wanted to show off.

So after boarding school (Hurray!! I was done with high school), I hit the market and bought myself black and other daring colors like wine and pink. It was like breathing fresh air after being in a hot and smelly cave for months. At last, I got what I wanted. I was glad that I could be myself.

Conforming to the society and wanting to please others can be hindrances to being who you really are. Don’t get me wrong. Displaying good table manners in a room full of people is polite. Wearing that ancient bright green blouse that your mum gave you as a present to her birthday party is sweet and would bring tears to her eyes and to yours too. (For different reasons of course. You just spotted a particular cute dude in the little crowd and what on earth were you wearing!?).

Besides, you would want your brother to stop smoking because your father wants him to and for a cousin of yours to quit selling her body because the society shuns it. (And probably slap the taste out of her mouth {if she is younger} if she dare says anything like “it is my life”. Yeah and she is ruining it!).

I am talking about doing things for you and being you. When was the last time you really let go? Remember King David in the Bible? I am sure that when the king started to dance, his servants and everyone present knew nothing about what was about to go down and Showtime! He lost his kingly regalia and danced like he had never done before. Let me rephrase that; like he had always wanted to dance and praise his God. But the ‘kingly status’ was all about giving orders and putting up all the ‘kingly airs’. Even if he had to dance, it would be some ‘kingly movement’. Not much. So when he did that near nude serious dancing, the people were amazed. He did what he wanted and that was it.

You could loosen up a bit sometime. Do something you love that you wouldn’t do ordinarily because of some changes that have occurred in your life. Busy time schedules, marriage, kids…. Yeah I understand.

But it wouldn’t hurt if you did please yourself once in a while. Do something for you. Sign up for yoga classes, join a wine tasting club, visit a high end store and get a vintage dress that makes you look like a princess…

For once, dance to nothing but your own tune and do it your style. I am not saying you should be selfish. All I am saying is girl, have yourself some fun sometimes. And I bet that if you had the opportunity to enter the time travel machine and gone to ask the popular king David, he’d tell you that it felt real good!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

What should a woman do?....2

Let me tell you how most men would handle the same situation.

The situation

Rob and Mark are best friends.

Rob is dating Mandy but cheats on her.

Mandy flirts with Mark lightly and makes him her friend.

Mark finds out that Rob was two-timing.

Mandy begins to come on to Mark rather strongly.


The solution.

Mark would tell Rob that Mandy was a w**re probably after sleeping with her or not.

Maybe he would say that he had slept with her after she had gotten him drunk or something.

Rob might be pissed at Mark for a while or a very long time but one thing is sure, Mandy would be (kicked) out of the picture.

Now what happened to the two friends and what did Angela do?

Angela told Monica that her man was coming on to her. Monica was alarmed. She swore to deal with Luke.

What she did was go to him and said that she knew about his hitting on Angela and she had already forgiven him because she loved him so much.

And what happened next?

Luke broke up with her! There on the spot. His reasons; everything was getting too complicated.

Monica couldn’t believe it. She begged and begged but Luke told her that she deserved better than a guy that hits on her friends.

Sadness gradually became anger and Monica told him off.

Guess what, she blamed Angela for everything! Maybe she (Angela) was the one flirting with him. Maybe she (Angela) was jealous and wanted her man.

Angela, the most sensible person in this real life drama asked her friend these questions.

Did you ask him if what I told you was true?

If yes, why did he do it?

Monica thought about it for a while (I guess). Of course, she hadn’t. She only wanted to continue seeing Luke. Nothing more.

Then she told Angela that she (Monica) needed to be on her own for a while.

Today, their friendship isn’t what it used to be. Hopefully, Monica would get over whatever she needed to get over and realize that Angela was her true friend and like Kat (From inside….out) commented, she (Monica) had been grossly unfair to her. (See previous post).

Women are indeed special creatures. Everything about us is special, from our beautiful bodies to the way we think and reason.

We are sometimes faced with situations that emotionally and physically tasking. Some are too much for us to bear. Too much for us to handle. But we don’t have any choice but to do something. Some sensible. Something rational. Now that isn’t easy. Yes, I know.

Now Angela had the opportunity of going out with a wealthy guy. Forget the fact that he was her friend’s man. Some ladies wouldn’t mind that. Plus the fact that Monica was not even faithful to the guy. But she did the right thing. She thought like a woman who had all her priorities right. Can a man like Luke be trusted? Why would he be hitting on his woman’s best friend in the first place? So she didn’t accept his expensive gifts. Some women would not but Angela, no she is one sensible woman or at least, she displayed some sensibility and rationality in this real life drama.

And this is for you. For reading me.

Lily Johnson

Thursday, January 21, 2010

What should a woman do?

One day, a good friend of mine; a guy and I had a quarrel. I don’t remember what on earth about but at a point, it really got loud. We argued back and forth and word for word.

My good friend: Lily, you are just too sentimental sometimes.

Lily (Angry eyes and a temperature that can boil an egg, hard): No, I am not being sentimental. You just don’t understand and you don’t want to…..

My good friend: You are always touchy about these ‘women’ subjects of yours.

Lily (Continues vehemently): You think it is easy? Huh? Trying to balance out your life….

My good friend: Men! I know a couple of strong feminists and they don’t get half as mad as you when women issues come up.

Lily (There’s no stopping this train): You don’t know the half of it. It is crazy. It can be weird and frustrating……

My good friend: Oh great! Can we stop now?

Lily (Ends her ramble with the words): The hardest thing to be in this world is a woman!

My good friend (Stares at me with awe): I think you need a drink baby. And later, some therapy.

Lily (Eyes shooting poisonous Red Indian arrows)

My good friend: Kidding! Let me get you that drink.

I didn’t know why I had said that. I still don’t. I do know that I was frustrated. (And I did want to win the argument).

I have tried to understand why I’d said it and even what I really meant. Sometimes, it made sense and other times, I lost track of my random thoughts.

I heard some ‘information’ (y’all know it’s gossip) a few days ago and it struck me as “Could this be it? Moments later…. Nah! But I would share it with you. I barely know the girls anyway.

Angela and Monica were best friends. Two beautiful girls who were decent and hardworking and were seen by guys in the neighborhood as ‘hard to get’

Monica had a boyfriend Luke, who was charming, witty and rich. Angela had gotten out of an abusive relationship a few months before but had put the past behind her.

Everything was cool. Sometimes, three of them went out and had good, clean fun or drank themselves silly in the club and danced the night away literally.

Then Luke started coming unto Angela. Well, at least it seemed like it. The long stares when Monica was answering the phone; ‘Thank you’ cards came when she was sure she had done nothing and text messages and phone calls became regular.

Angela wanted to tell her friend what was going on but didn’t want to be the one who tore them apart. She was sure her friend was going to be hurt and she didn’t want that. Monica was at her happiest when she was with Luke. And again, the guy could just be….grateful for her….support. Yeah!

Then Angela discovered something that really baffled her. Monica was seeing other men! She was cheating on Luke. She had these two other guys that she said were her ‘spare boyfriends’. Of course she loved Luke deeply and would never leave him she had said. But she had to have the spares.

Luke began to suspect that Monica was cheating on him but of course, Monica depended on her best friend to defend her. Angela did.

Then Luke’s come-ons became stronger. He asked Angela out for dinner when Monica was out of town, talked to her when he really needed someone to talk to and bought her gifts that her conscience wouldn’t let her accept.

He kept on telling her that he wasn’t really happy with vain Monica. There was something about her…..

Angela’s heart began to go out to this man that was her crazy best friend’s man.

Do you see Angela’s predicament? What would you do?

Tell Monica that her boyfriend was hitting on you and advice her to break up with him? Even when you know the girl is out there cheating on him? Plus you get to ruin her happiness (ahem).

Or, tell Luke that Monica a.k.a your girl, was cheating on him and wasn’t good for him and incur the wrath of your best friend who counts on your support 24/7?

What about Angela’s feelings? Yeah, what about that?

I would later tell you what happened to the best friends for now, just tell me what you think.

Lily Johnson

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The maiden and the masquerade

Make up is such fun. You know playing with colors, covering all that pasty complexion when we haven’t been getting enough sleep or hung over, hiding those flaws on our dear faces…yes makeup is really fun.

But what is not funny is seeing a fellow sister walking on the streets looking like an elementary school coloring book or a house paint advert catalogue.(Pardon me but when I use similes, I tend to exaggerate)

Too much of everything! The foundation is pasted on in layers, the eye shadow is applied with vehemence and the lipstick kisses the teeth whenever the lips as much as move.

The result, a masquerade trying its best to be a striking woman and people around wondering where the hell the face is. And some wicked guys screaming “Give her some colorful garb and we are set for a parade!”(Okay. More similes equal to more exaggeration. Say hello to Me. There should be a term for that).

Day make up should be light. The foundation should be barely there just covering the face and looking natural. The eye shadow colors should be light colors and if you are wearing a dark coloured dress and want to ‘match it’, do it with care. Coat your lashes with the mascara just once. And your lips shouldn’t be too glossy or too ‘colored’ with lipstick.

Well, you can get away with almost anything when making up for a fun night out. If it is dinner, go for a bit more coverage with a foundation that matches your complexion, apply darker colors of eye shadow and lipstick, gloss a tiny bit more than the day look and still try to look elegant. You don’t want the guy to wonder what’s up with your face. If the dinner is official, apply only slightly dark colors of eye shadow and lipstick. No gloss please. Okay, maybe just a little.

But if you are going out with your girls, you can do almost anything with and to your face. Especially if you are not single and still searching. (And if you are, apply your make up with caution).Go gaga with the shine if it’s a disco party. Do the colors the way that it draws attention to your face and not scare people off.

Now unless it is for a photo shoot, do not over use the make up. The mascara should show where your lashes are. Correct application of the mascara can make the eyes wider and sexier but overuse does exactly the opposite.

Well girls, continue to look beautiful with or without our dear friend the make up palette and take care of yourselves.

Lily Johnson

Monday, January 18, 2010

Eye opener

I told you guys I was writing exams right? I try to study at night and even when I am not studying, I do some of my writing. So because of this, I don’t get enough sleep and thereby having dark circles round my eyes. (I really hate to say this but it did make me look like a ....panda!)

Now, some eye creams just say loads on their label but do absolutely nothing. I don't know why those companies are allowed to still exist.

After trying a number of products, I finally got an eye cream that not only clears the dark marks but also reduces puffiness. (May i add that it was quite pricy). It worked but I still had tired and dull eyes all day.

So I tried a trick that I saw in some magazine months ago; putting your eye cream in the refrigerator. The effect was amazing! My eyes looked brighter and I didn’t look like I was going to fall asleep at any time.

When you dab the eye cream with a finger underneath your eyes, it instantly cools the entire eye area. Good eye creams smooth away wrinkles and take years off your eye area so it is a must have. You can visit a dermatologist or a beauty specialist to get one that is good for you.

So girls, look and stay beautiful as always!

Lily Johnson
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Friday, January 15, 2010

Snap (A short story)

This short story contains strong language and scenes of violence and is not suitable for readers below the age of 18.

Just had to warn you anyway. And...... I think I enjoyed saying that. You know the whole movie rating thing.
What can I say, I am a big dreamer.
Now the movie produced by.....
Woww.....Just read the story and do leave comments.

Crystal approached the house with trembling steps. She had cried herself hoarse for twenty minutes in the car before she summoned what seemed like enough courage to face her fears. As she stepped in front of the huge oak wood door, she brought out her handkerchief from her purse and cleaned her face. She pressed the door bell. There was no going back.
The African house keeper opened the door and looked shocked to see her. “Mrs. Kendall! You are late …. For dinner.”
Crystal pushed her way through the door into the large and tastefully furnished living room. “You shouldn’t be here Tamia. You close by six p.m.”
“I know,” the middle aged woman whispered, “I stayed when I noticed you were not in the house.”
Crystal dropped her purse on the sofa and headed for the mini bar across the hall. She needed some scotch to calm her nerves
“So you stayed. Why?”
“Oh child!” Tamia sighed sadly, “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what will happen when your brute of a husband knows you’re home. You and I know that you should always be home by five p.m. You came in by eight fifteen. In your husband’s books, not only are you late, you disobeyed him and deserves to be punished.”
The young brunette took a long sip straight from the bottle and chuckled. “Ah! Tamia. You know us only too well.”
“Six long years Crystal and I know that all my life, I have never known any man as brutal as Mark Kendall. Sweetheart, what are you still doing with him?”
Crystal poured herself a tall glass of the drink. “Because there is no place else to go Tamia. I am an orphan. I have no siblings. No relatives. Nobody.”
“Don’t you have any friends?”
“Ha! They are all bitches who think that I am a lucky wretch.” Crystal walked back into the living room and sat on the sofa. She was a beautiful woman. Petite in frame but had all the curves in the right places. Her large hazel eyes stared into space.
“Then come live with me child,” Tamia whispered.
Just then, a door slammed somewhere in the house.
Crystal held the older woman’s hand. “You should go now Tamia. He must not see you here.”
“No!” Tamia said sharply. “You should follow me right now. We don’t have much time.”
Sounds of footsteps on the staircase.
“Go Tamia! Now!” Crystal ordered her.
“Oh! dear child. You have completely lost it. What has he done to you? Come with me and end this. You are just twenty one. You have your whole life ahead of you,” Tamia pleaded with her.
Mark Kendall entered the living room. He looked slightly younger than his thirty seven years though he was a big man. Standing at six foot four inches and weighing about a hundred and twenty five kilogrammes, he made the women in the room who were slightly above five inches look like midgets.
He ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair and adjusted and adjusted his glasses on his nose. He was an attractive man when his blue eyes weren’t that piercingly cold.
“What are you still doing here Tamia?” His deep baritone voice was calm.
“I ….,” Tamia began
“She was just getting ready to leave,” Crystal interrupted her and began to lead her away but Tamia snatched her hand from her and stood her ground.
“Speak when you are spoken to Crystal,” he said without looking at her. His gaze was fixed on Tamia.
“You were saying?”
“Let her go Mr. Kendall. She is such an unhappy child. So hopeless and helpless. Look at her. I don’t know what she did to deserve this but she has paid dearly for it. Please let her go.”
Mark looked down for a few seconds and smiled mirthlessly then turned to his wife, “Did you put her up to this?”
“No! No!” Crystal was shaking with fear.
“She didn’t put me up to anything,” Tamia snapped angry that the foolish child that didn’t know when an opportunity to live a normal life presented itself.
“Do you want to leave me Crystal?” He fixed his cold gaze on her
“No!” Crystal cried.
“Do you want to follow this Tamia woman?”
“No. I don’t want to follow her.”
He smiled and touched her cheek with affection. “Where do you belong Crystal?”
“Here. With you,” Crystal smiled through her tears.
Mark smiled tenderly at her before bending to kiss her forehead.
“That’s my girl.” He looked sharply at the astonished woman.
“Now get out!” He barked.
Tamia clutched her purse tightly and made the sign of the cross across her chest.
“There is something evil about this Mark. But the devil will not triumph for long.” She stared at Crystal for a while and said, “Snap out of it child. Snap out of it.” She took her coat and left the room.
Mark who had been stroking Crystal’s cheek all that while asked with his eyes fixed on the entrance door, “What did you tell her?”
“I told her nothing I swear Mark. I don’t speak to …..”
The slap had the small woman sprawling on the marble floor. Crystal screamed in pain.
“Shut up Crystal,” he said calmly before picking her up from the ground like a rag doll, “You know I hate it when you scream like that.”
Crystal held her bruised cheek and tried to sob quietly. She had blood on her mouth and on her forehead. She even thought she had heard her skull crack.
Mark gently settled her on the coach and sat beside her.
“What is your name?”
“Crystal Kendall.”
Who were you before now?
“Nothing. Nobody. Lower than dirt.”
“Who are you now?”
“A beautiful, decent and fulfilled woman”
“How did that happen?”
“Well, you Mark Kendall were gracious enough to marry me.”
Mark smiled and stroked her cheek. Then suddenly, he grabbed her hair.
“Then why did you choose to disobey me Crystal? Why did you come late today?”
“I fell asleep at the park and did not wake up until two hours later. I didn’t mean to come home late. I didn’t mean to disobey you.”
“You must have been bored.” He put his nose in her hair and inhaled before letting go of it.
“Why didn’t you come home to me?”
“I was watching the birds. They were so beautiful and peaceful and I just slept off while watching them.”
“You should have come home,” he shouted angrily took her by the wrist and held it tightly. Too tightly.
Crystal closed her eyes and tried to endure the pain
“You are hurting me Mark.”
“No I am not.” He squeezed tight. Crystal screamed.
“Now I am.”
When he let her go, Crystal heard a weird sound somewhere in her head. It was soft but crystal heard it loud and clear. It was like someone broke off a twig some meters away form her.
She held he head high and smiled at Mark as she rubbed her wrist.
“You just enjoy hurting me don’t you Mark Kendall?”
Mark starred at her for while and laughed. “Have you gone mad? You look at me and talk like that?”
“Well, the last time I checked you were human and the man I married. Why are you talking to me like I am some slave?”
He slapped her hard across the face and dragged her out of the sofa.
“I will teach you to respect and obey me!”
Crystal struggled to break free as he dragged her towards the kitchen. “Will you talk to me in that manner again Crystal?” he shouted as he rubbed her face on the rough carpet.
Crystal heard the sound again. This time, louder. It was like something had taken control of her body and she struggled to regain control. But she lost the battle.
She pushed Mark with a strength she was sure wasn’t hers because the big man fell on the floor with a thud.
In a flash, she jumped to his side and smiled at his surprised face.
“I think I broke my back,” he said as he tried to move.
Then she began to laugh.
Mark reached for her leg but she kicked him in the ribs before he could even touch her.
“Don’t you ever touch me again Mark Kendall. Don’t you ever lay your filthy hands on me again. Do you understand?”
Mark, who was groaning in pain made another desperate attempt to grab her leg but she kicked him again this time severally like a deranged animal.
“You have gone mad!” Mark screamed. “You are possessed. You couldn’t even break chicken bone before but now you kick like a pro. You got your strength from the devil.”
There was blood on his head and his shirt was wet with sweat and blood.
Crystal sat on the kitchen table and took a glistening knife from one of the drawers.
“I didn’t know you could bleed Mark,” she said as she examined the knife with interest. “There is blood everywhere and this time, it is from you. And you know what, I am beginning to like the sight.”
Mark starred at her with wide eyes. “Crystal……are you going to hurt me?”
The young woman licked the knife and smiled. “What a question Mark. You have been hurting me all these years and hurt me even more when some of the former wounds were yet to heal. Oh! Mark. Why are you asking me if I am going to hurt you when all you have ever done is hurt and humiliate me?”
Mark tried to get up but screamed in pain and held his lower back.
“You bitch!” he spat at her. “Get me to the hospital. I am seriously hurt.”
“No you are not.” Crystal walked towards him with the knife in her hand.
“Don’t come near me you crazy bitch!”
Crystal took at his feet and bent down to face him.
“Don’t even try to move. I will be kind.”
Then she heard a door open in her head. It was like some wind was blowing hard on her brains. She let out a cry and held her head for several seconds and it stopped as suddenly as it started.
Crystal looked around the room as if she was seeing it for the first time. She looked at Mark on the floor with horror and dropped the knife.
“What happened here?” she said with a small voice filled with fear.
“You tried to kill me,” Mark spat at her.
“How could that be?” she cried, “I couldn’t have. I couldn’t have.”
“Get me to the hospital now! I will bleed to death.”
Crystal started to help him but stopped before even touching him.
“Help me up to the couch you fool.”
“You will tell them at the hospital that I tried to kill you right?”
“Don’t you worry about that now woman,” Mark’s breathing was labored. “I am dying.”
“Then the hospital will tell the police and I will be arrested and put in prison,” Crystal thought aloud.
“Stop all that stupid talk and help me up and call an ambulance,” Mark cried.
“And I don’t deserve that. Not after all that you have done to me. And I don’t even remember hurting you.”
She went to the kitchen sink and bathed her face; cleaning away the blood then went into the living room and picked her purse from the couch.
“Where are you going?” Mark shouted after her.
She made for the front door but stopped in her tracks and looked at her husband, “Very far away from you Mark. I am going to a place where you will never see me again. I do hope you find help before it is too late.”
She touched the solid oak door, “You had these doors sound proofed so that no one would hear me scream.” She laughed. “Now, no one would hear you scream. Goodbye Mark Kendall.”
She opened the door, stepped out and shut it. She could hear the faint sounds of Mark screaming in the kitchen. she didn’t know how Mark got hurt that way. She didn’t even remember touching him. Maybe she would figure it out some day.

“Not today,” she whispered as she walked into the dark night. “Today, I am just going to enjoy my freedom.” She took a deep breath and jumped joyfully. “I am free at last!”

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Beware of that date!!

Aren’t we all looking for that special someone to spend the rest of our lives with? That guy, that hunk (ahem) of a man who would chase all our fears away and make our dreams of having a perfect life filled with love, happiness and security come true.

We look for him everywhere (library, church, streets, malls, supermarkets, the internet). And of course, we go to places we hope and pray he would find us (unisex hair dressing salons, boutiques, at work, the internet).

I am about to tell you a story. A true life story. It is about what happened to a friend of mine. Just listen (read actually).

Sandra met this guy James on …the internet and they got talking. James was a Cameroonian just like Sandra but he lived in Canada while Sandra lived in Cameroon.

They called each other every day and James seemed like a nice guy to her. He told her he loved her and she…well fell in love too. Sandra was in a relationship that was headed for the rocks so this mystery man that said he was in love with her, called her everyday to make her laugh, spoke with everyone that mattered to her on phone and even sent his driver in Cameroon to bring her some money, meant the world to Sandra. She was on top of the world. They were making plans to get married, talking about how many kids they would have and where they were going to live. Yes all that.

James told her some days before his arrival to Cameroon that a Canadian girl had a child for him five months before. He said the reason he hadn’t told her earlier was because he didn’t want her to leave him. He wasn’t married to the girl. They had dated for five years and had a child. Just that. Sandra was the woman he wanted to marry. She was shattered of course. How was she going to cope with the child and the mother? Because they were going to be in the life of her man. Forever. She took it in her stride. It could have been worse right? She began to have little doubts though. Was he real? Was he really coming back to Cameroon to see her?

He did come. He was everything she wanted in a man. And while most of us were in church praying to God for a fruitful New Year, Sandra was gazing into the eyes of her new man. That and some other things (ahem) were all that Sandra did that New Year day.

The next day, prince charming suddenly changed. He began to act like she wasn’t even there. Sandra described him as a ‘rude boy’, a proper player and a serial womanizer. His driver dropped her off at her friend’s place like a wet rag with the excuse that his boss was travelling to Italy on business. And that was the end of...well everything. He did send some money to her after a few days. Not a lot. Enough to say ‘it is over’. Can you imagine that? The humiliation? Sandra felt like dirt because not only had she given her heart, she had also given her body to this man. It was painful. And to add salt to injury, someone who claimed to be James’s wife forwarded back all of Sandra’s emails to her and warned her to ‘back off’.

So my dear, in your quest to find ‘the one’, be careful. Try to find out who you are dealing with before letting yourself fall for him. It isn’t always easy but at least try. I know life is all about taking risks but you know how fragile the heart is.

And if you do get hurt, get over it. Dust yourself up and try again. There are good and responsible men out there and one of them is just waiting for a darling like you to come his way.

Don’t you ever give up. It is not the end of the world!

Lily Johnson

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Work it

First, I want to apologize for disappearing into thin air for a while now. I have been writing exams and during the past few weeks, my schedule had been too tight.

I hope you guys have been doing great and Happy New year in arrears.

You’ve got New Year resolutions right? Some of us don’t even believe in that sort of thing but if you do and you’ve got a list, I want you to add something to it. Exercise.

That is if you don’t already do it.

Some of us take exercising very seriously. Working out at the gym, going for road walks, jogging……

While some of us don’t even move our feet except when absolutely necessary. Exercising regularly not only keeps you fit but also keeps your body systems in optimum condition.

Now, I am not telling you to hit the gym and start lifting weights and working the AB King Pro. You may not have the time, patience or even the energy level. But you can manage to do a 10 minute work out everyday. Get a small exercise gadget like the ‘rowing exerciser’ (the one with a spring) or you can just jog round your house.

Just a little a day girls and its all good.

This is to a healthy and happy 2010 for all of us. Cheers!

Lily Johnson
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