Saturday, March 20, 2010

Beautiful liar

No, it is not just a figment of Beyonce, Shakira and their song writer’s imagination. Some one I know met one.

They had met on… well the internet and became friends so they set a date and met in person. They had been talking for more than a month so she felt she knew some vital things about him until she met him. Her earlier suspicion made her do some detective work though. These were her findings.

1. His name was the only thing that was true and real.

2. He said he was single but he was married with a beautiful daughter. His wife was expecting their second child.

3. The house he claimed was his was his boss’s mother’s house.(Not really sure about the ‘boss’ part )

4. He was a womanizer masquerading as a cool guy looking for a woman to marry.

5. His mobile phone was always switched off because of his wife or another woman but he would always say he was in a meeting with his boss.

6. He might be jobless (Explains the not-so-sure thingy about the ‘boss’ thing) though he claims to be the manager of a trading company.

7. He was handsome, sweet and witty. He had a personality that made you want to become his friend. He drew you in and made you like and trust him.

Personality profile: Beautiful liar.

Years back, I worked in a school with a young man called Emmanuel. Our salary was pathetic and was hardly paid on time. He obviously had the hots for me and told me that he was a pilot. He told me he had gone to a rather expensive aviation school in Australia and was in another one in the US where he was paying millions of naira for tuition. He would come to school every morning in an overall and tell me he had flown to Paris the previous night and would fly to Amsterdam after school hours. I didn’t know what to say to him. Then he said his father was Greek! People knew his father who was always tipsy and his mother who grew vegetables. I just couldn’t stand him anymore when he denied his own parents. So one day, I exploded. I told him that I was sick of his pathetic lies and that he needed serious help. He didn’t come to work for a few days. He sent a boy with a note for me. In the note, he said he was in a hospital after suffering a heart attack. He was breathing with the help of machines! (WTF!).

After laughing my behind off, I asked the startled boy one simple question; which hospital Emmanuel was in. Of course, he couldn’t produce an answer. The psycho case must have given him some change to buy meat pies. He came back to work after two weeks looking grim and was spotting a surgical plaster on his nose! You know, to make the ‘breathing with the help of machines’ story seem real. I actually felt sorry for him he was living in a fantasy world. He needed help.

Now, I know these are extreme cases but once in a while, we encounter people that tell too many lies. Every body that is still dating should beware of people that are always trying to cover something up or trying to make something up. Trust your instincts. When listening to him or her, listen attentively. Listen to the words and the body language.

Some people believe that the only way that they can be accepted is if they are anything but themselves. Others just tell lies to get what they want and don’t care if someone gets hurt in the process. It is a crazy world people!

If you have any encounter with a handsome stranger with a lot of sweet words that simply aren’t true, join Beyonce and Shakira in doing that dance

We laugh about it

It’s not worth our time.

(Sorry I don’t know the next line)

I do know that he is a beautiful liar.

Have fun people.

Lily Johnson

Thursday, March 11, 2010

You are human. Deal with it!

I made a great mistake! I shouldn’t have done this! I should have said that! News flash: You are not a robot. You are flesh and blood (please don’t make me get the anatomy guy to break it down for you). You are not perfect and nobody is no matter what they say! You have emotions that sometimes can’t be controlled. You are not God! So you are not all knowing, ever present and all powerful and trust me you can never be and we are not expecting you to be. You are (wait for it) human! End of not-so-flash news flash.

We all do it once in a while; beating ourselves up for something we know that couldn’t be helped. We keep seeing things we should have or would have done even it is so clear that there was nothing anyone could have done about the situation. Even when we had done everything in our power, we still tell ourselves that we shouldn’t have done more; we should have done better. Yeah, I understand. I know how it feels. I do that too sometimes.

But my dear, there is so much that you can control. I am sure that you try hard enough so when there are some flaws here and there, as hard as that can be, try to take it in your good stride. It is nearly impossible in fatal cases but what can you, a mere mortal do? Even when you could have done something, blaming yourself till you breathe, eat and drink self condemnation can’t change the situation. And you would have turned into a zombie. Now that’s horrible!

I just want to encourage everyone to try to live with themselves when they make bad choices and great mistakes. Regret it. Please do but just enough to learn from it, swear never to do it again, share your experience with people so they can learn from it too and put it behind you and live your life. And when you know deep down that there was nothing you could have done about the situation, quit looking for ways to bring yourself down! It can’t change anything!

And if you know someone in such a situation, do the ‘blaming’ thing and encourage the person to learn from it and move on. It could be you so be good.

It is difficult but with determination and prayers, we can do it.

Keep being positive.

Lily Johnson.

Monday, March 8, 2010

I got...lost!

I had to travel to Benin Republic. My dearest brother just got admission into a university there. Benin republic is a small country beside Nigeria. That’s all I can tell you. I, my mum and my aunt went to the place. I was intrigued by a lot. The language difference which is French and the long French bread, the music and the notes and coins (money). I and my family used to live in Togo, the country after Benin Republic with loads of similarities. I especially love their music! It is called ‘Makossa’.

I am embarrassed to say that I got lost in the city of Cotonou. My mum and aunt got on motor bikes and left me behind believing I was behind them. The driver of the motor bike I was on was rather sluggish. He was busy trying to impress me with some words in English and hit on me. You can imagine! So we didn’t know which way my mum and aunt went. I didn’t know any where. They just told the motorbike driver to follow them. So I was lost. I didn’t have any of their money which was CFA francs. My purse was stuffed with Naira and it was useless. My mobile phone wasn’t working there either. My outgoing calls were barred so I couldn’t call my mum or my aunt. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my entire life. I told the driver to take me back to the university. So I began to wait for a miracle.

The driver I must confess was a good person. I quickly forgot his earlier ‘eff ups’ when he gave me some money to call my aunt using their pay phone. I got through to my aunt and told her where I was. It took my mum who was pretty freaked out herself about 45 minutes to get to the school. I was torn between hugging her and crying happily and going completely ballistic. I had stood under the sun, which was hotter than what I am used to, for 45 minutes. I was warned by the driver to stand under some shade but I was pissed and embarrassed. I was looking hot in my off shoulder top and jeans trousers but I was freaking lost!

I should have listened to him though because now, I am rocking sunburns on my neck and shoulders and I got a shade darker.

Anyway, I bought a lot of French bread and ate them with salad to console myself. A grown woman doesn’t get lost in a country where she doesn’t understand the language with no money in her pocket and a useless mobile phone all the time.

Be good people

Lily Johnson.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Familiar stranger

How come the man that I love is this familiar stranger now?

This man that I live with, that I sleep with, is a familiar stranger now

Even he looks at me, I can tell he’s faraway, he is this familiar stranger now

He says he is with me but he’s not the man I know.

He’s a familiar stranger now

This is the hook ‘Familiar stranger’, a song I wrote a couple of years ago. It is actually better sung than read like some songs.

I wrote the song when I witnessed a classic love story go so so wrong because the guy simply…..changed.

The young woman was heartbroken. They had been high school sweethearts and everybody believed they were made for each other. He went away to college. She stayed behind and worked as a makeup artist. He came back and they got back together. He was her angel. He respected, adored and loved her. They got married some years later, he got a job and life was sweet. They had two lovely boys. Life was beautiful. Then bam! He just….changed.

That was just what happened. She swore with tears running down her cheeks that he was not the man she married. Jude can’t be responsible for her black eye. He wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone the woman he loved. He wouldn’t yell and spank their sons for nothing. He had cried tears of joy when they were born. It just wasn’t Jude. Anne was sure of that.

Yes. People do change consciously and sometimes, without even knowing it. But it is indeed the hardest when it is the man you went to the altar with, adopted his name and had kids with that just stopped being who you knew and came to love. You decided to go to the altar with him, adopt his name and have kids with when you could just live your life on a roller coaster without being really responsible for a whole lot like a husband and kids. And he changed!? Not good!

Well, life throws a lot of sh… stuff at us. We don’t have any choice but to find the warrior and survivor in us to be able to scale through. So whatever it is darling, just do your best; your very best so you can be able to proudly say “I tried all I could” without having a fatal case of ‘the conscience thing’

And really guys, sometimes the best and only thing to do is to walk away.

Lily Johnson
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