Friday, March 5, 2010

Familiar stranger

How come the man that I love is this familiar stranger now?

This man that I live with, that I sleep with, is a familiar stranger now

Even he looks at me, I can tell he’s faraway, he is this familiar stranger now

He says he is with me but he’s not the man I know.

He’s a familiar stranger now

This is the hook ‘Familiar stranger’, a song I wrote a couple of years ago. It is actually better sung than read like some songs.

I wrote the song when I witnessed a classic love story go so so wrong because the guy simply…..changed.

The young woman was heartbroken. They had been high school sweethearts and everybody believed they were made for each other. He went away to college. She stayed behind and worked as a makeup artist. He came back and they got back together. He was her angel. He respected, adored and loved her. They got married some years later, he got a job and life was sweet. They had two lovely boys. Life was beautiful. Then bam! He just….changed.

That was just what happened. She swore with tears running down her cheeks that he was not the man she married. Jude can’t be responsible for her black eye. He wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone the woman he loved. He wouldn’t yell and spank their sons for nothing. He had cried tears of joy when they were born. It just wasn’t Jude. Anne was sure of that.

Yes. People do change consciously and sometimes, without even knowing it. But it is indeed the hardest when it is the man you went to the altar with, adopted his name and had kids with that just stopped being who you knew and came to love. You decided to go to the altar with him, adopt his name and have kids with when you could just live your life on a roller coaster without being really responsible for a whole lot like a husband and kids. And he changed!? Not good!

Well, life throws a lot of sh… stuff at us. We don’t have any choice but to find the warrior and survivor in us to be able to scale through. So whatever it is darling, just do your best; your very best so you can be able to proudly say “I tried all I could” without having a fatal case of ‘the conscience thing’

And really guys, sometimes the best and only thing to do is to walk away.

Lily Johnson


  1. "And really guys, sometimes the best and only thing to do is to walk away"

    Lily, are you advising divorce? Do you support divorce?

    I have always come to understand only God doesn't change. Men will always change. So when they do, help them in any way you can to get their acts together. Pray for them. Talk to them. One of my highly respected authors said, "if you fail in relationships, then you have failed in life". Thats heavy, isn't it?

    - LDP

  2. Honest is so important. You must be able to talk about anything with your loved one, and it must be done honestly. Otherwise how can rational decisions be made?

  3. Lovely post I'll come back later to read more, when I've got the time.

  4. Well said my dear. Always walk away before you hurt someone. Everyone changes, I'm so different than I was at 30 but hopefully those changes have made me better, stronger, more compassionate. Talk, talk and talk some more to the ones you love.

  5. Honesty and communication are such important concepts. Lily you are such a talented writer!! :)

  6. LDP: No, i am a fan of divorce. But my dear, have u ever been with a woman whose husband physically assaults all the time? I said try hard. That includes prayers and lots of communication. But, LDP, sometimes, you just gotta step aside and breathe!

  7. Jerry; You are so right. It is bad to bottle everything up. Talk to those you love.

    Carol: Thanks so much for that input Carol. People do change. For better or worse.

    Cafe Fashionista: Thanks Erica hon and so are you!

  8. I have news for you, he never changed, the violent streak was laying dormant in him, and when it surfaces, it will never go back to being dormant again. Either walk away, or play his game, wake him one morning after you got beaten with a kettle of boiling water all over his upper body. That should kinda make your point clear to him. Two people can play the violent game.

    Thanks for the kind comment on my Marisa Miller post, appreciate your input.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

  9. I know a God that changes people. He is the unchangeable changer. My Dad used to be tough. He womanizes, drinks and comes home late or even not at all. But my mum stood in the gap. She withstood all the agony, pain and horrors of those times. She was fasting day and night for his salvation.

    Lily, I can testify today that my parents are the best couple I've ever known. Mum saw the fruit of her perseverance. It is not easy but remember, for better, for worse. Where has that gone to in the minds and hearts of ladies nowadays. You all scare me from getting married atimes. *sigh*


  10. I adore this because it is so incredibly true. Sometimes the ones we love the most do become like a familiar strange. It can be so confusing at times. Wonderful Lily!! :)

  11. you know your song really resonates with so many people. it's just a sad reality of life, and women (or men) need to realize they deserve better!
    xoxo alison

  12. LDP: Your mum is a special woman and i adore women like that.But not all women are that strong trust me. Do not be scared. Just do not become a familiar stranger to your wife or girl friend. Thanks again.

    Cafe Fashionista: Your are so right Erica dear. Thanks again

    Madam Frou Frou: Thanks for the comment. Yes we all deserve better.

  13. Sometimes you have to walk away and start over. I know I have.
    Do what you must Lily and take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers.

  14. Noe Noe: Thanks dear and take care.


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