Saturday, March 20, 2010

Beautiful liar

No, it is not just a figment of Beyonce, Shakira and their song writer’s imagination. Some one I know met one.

They had met on… well the internet and became friends so they set a date and met in person. They had been talking for more than a month so she felt she knew some vital things about him until she met him. Her earlier suspicion made her do some detective work though. These were her findings.

1. His name was the only thing that was true and real.

2. He said he was single but he was married with a beautiful daughter. His wife was expecting their second child.

3. The house he claimed was his was his boss’s mother’s house.(Not really sure about the ‘boss’ part )

4. He was a womanizer masquerading as a cool guy looking for a woman to marry.

5. His mobile phone was always switched off because of his wife or another woman but he would always say he was in a meeting with his boss.

6. He might be jobless (Explains the not-so-sure thingy about the ‘boss’ thing) though he claims to be the manager of a trading company.

7. He was handsome, sweet and witty. He had a personality that made you want to become his friend. He drew you in and made you like and trust him.

Personality profile: Beautiful liar.

Years back, I worked in a school with a young man called Emmanuel. Our salary was pathetic and was hardly paid on time. He obviously had the hots for me and told me that he was a pilot. He told me he had gone to a rather expensive aviation school in Australia and was in another one in the US where he was paying millions of naira for tuition. He would come to school every morning in an overall and tell me he had flown to Paris the previous night and would fly to Amsterdam after school hours. I didn’t know what to say to him. Then he said his father was Greek! People knew his father who was always tipsy and his mother who grew vegetables. I just couldn’t stand him anymore when he denied his own parents. So one day, I exploded. I told him that I was sick of his pathetic lies and that he needed serious help. He didn’t come to work for a few days. He sent a boy with a note for me. In the note, he said he was in a hospital after suffering a heart attack. He was breathing with the help of machines! (WTF!).

After laughing my behind off, I asked the startled boy one simple question; which hospital Emmanuel was in. Of course, he couldn’t produce an answer. The psycho case must have given him some change to buy meat pies. He came back to work after two weeks looking grim and was spotting a surgical plaster on his nose! You know, to make the ‘breathing with the help of machines’ story seem real. I actually felt sorry for him he was living in a fantasy world. He needed help.

Now, I know these are extreme cases but once in a while, we encounter people that tell too many lies. Every body that is still dating should beware of people that are always trying to cover something up or trying to make something up. Trust your instincts. When listening to him or her, listen attentively. Listen to the words and the body language.

Some people believe that the only way that they can be accepted is if they are anything but themselves. Others just tell lies to get what they want and don’t care if someone gets hurt in the process. It is a crazy world people!

If you have any encounter with a handsome stranger with a lot of sweet words that simply aren’t true, join Beyonce and Shakira in doing that dance

We laugh about it

It’s not worth our time.

(Sorry I don’t know the next line)

I do know that he is a beautiful liar.

Have fun people.

Lily Johnson


  1. Hahaha... I couldnt stop laughing at the Emmanuel guy. Why live in agony or lie yourself off all because you are in chase of a pretty lady. Just tell it as it is. If she fancies you, fine! If she doesn't; well, she isnt the only one in the world....

    I personally believe in saying the truth at all times, come what may. I think its the best then you wouldnt have to look for more to cover up. lol

    - LDP

  2. what slugs!!! I'm sure the married dude was a charmer who suckered many more unsuspecting woman.

  3. Wow...un-freakin'-believable. How sad that the guy you worked with thought those lies wouldn't be discovered! That he actually thought you'd never, ever know??

    It's very hard to trust ppl once they've deceived you like makes it that much harder to trust the next person...

  4. lmao: ppl like that actually exist. lol. reminds me of a girl i knew in high school, so screwed up. pretended she slit her wrists. everyone was so worried about her too. so, a bunch of us decide to hang out at the mall and she tags along, but with her bandaged wrists. lol. when we saw her, we were a bit concerned. a couple days later, bandages gone, no scars. miraculous healing. lol. the jig was up after that.


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