I was listening to a group of ladies at the salon a few days
ago. They were talking about a woman I knew [It is indeed a small world]. One
of them was the woman’s husband’s mistress who sometimes boldly picked the
man’s calls to say a whole lot of nonsense to the woman when she called to
speak to her husband. No, these weren’t ‘local’ ghetto fabulous women looking
for a man who would take care of them and pay their bills. These were women who
dressed and talked like decent people until the conversation took that
direction.
So this lady and her friends said that there were ‘valid’
reasons for a woman to date a married man and not feel guilty about it.
1.
If the man’s wife nags the hell out the man:
That is, she nags him so much that he is actually seeking solace in some other
woman’s arms. So she [mistress][ is actually saving a soul by dating him;
helping a brother out so he doesn’t get hypertensive or so depressed he becomes
suicidal. According to the lady, this woman she was dating her husband and
ruining her home was a hopeless nag. The woman is one of those people that told
you whatever they had in mind but honestly, I wouldn’t know if she was a nag. This
reason they said, was valid. SMH
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2.
If the wife isn’t as adventurous in bed as the
husband would want her to be and has no intention of improving: Yes, they said
it is justifiable if a woman decides to help a sexually frustrated married man.
It is his wife’s fault if she doesn’t help him achieve his sexual fantasies and
yes, she was indirectly telling him to go out there to ‘get it’ so why would
she feel guilty for dating such a man?
They kept going on and on with other ridiculous reasons they
believed were okay. By then, I had gone into the hair dryer and typing this
post in my mind. I was a bit pissed too and that wasn’t the best time for me to
open my mouth. The wife has four growing kids for the man who had married her
when she was around eighteen or nineteen years old. She started her life from
the scratch with him before he became a successful business man.
Every woman knows how wrong it is to date a man that has a
wife he is legally married to. To ruin the home of a woman who you do not know
her story. To share with her the time and resources of her husband when you do
not know just how hard she worked with him to get it all. Anyone with a
conscience won’t do such a thing. No I am not preaching. It is just a terrible
experience for the woman in question and a group of women decided to mock her
while buffing their nails in a salon. Very sad.
If you are ‘the other woman’, do stop looking for reasons to
justify your actions. There is none really and you are in denial.
Happy Sunday and a joyful week ahead to you all.
Lily Johnson
Its truly amazing how people justify cheating. In the end, yeah, its deplorable. I know a situation now, that pretty much goes through all those boxes. Dude is cheating because he has a horrible wife. Now he loves both women, and is ruining several lives because he doesn't know what to do. The lies about everything going on is so unbelievable.... Its seeped into everything, now his lies are as easy to him as breathing. Nothing ever good comes out of cheating, or being with someone who is cheating....
ReplyDeleteNothing good ever comes out of it really. It is just ridiculous the way those ladies thought they could justify it. Really sad.
Deletejust when you think you couldn't over hear a stoooooooooopid conversation, along comes a bunch of people to exceed your expectations. what a dumb conversation; cannot believe they actually tried to justify adultery!
ReplyDeletewww.thatgoodgirlchi.blogspot.com
Very crazy conversation and they were throwing their hands all over the place and annoying me like mad. I couldn't wait to leave. Smh
DeleteI truly loved this post. A lot of women complain how there are no good men, and we blame men for it. However, it is our fault! Why does a man have to do better when there are so many women out there willing to be a "mistress", knowing of the other woman. So ladies, until we have some form of unity, infidelity will always be a problem.
ReplyDeleteOnly if women would tell these men to go back to their wives but no, they just sit and try to justify it. I will never understand why anyone would settle for being 'the other woman'.
DeleteMy only prayer is that people with that mentality would get married. Then we will see if they would be able to keep up with all the sexual adventures and comfort they had been giving other peoples husbands.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that prayer. Lets see if they would have the same view if other women do the same to them.
DeleteThere is indeed no justification for a woman that dates married men, but what about the man that decided to take his business outside? Not just that is an adulterer, he is also obviously saying a lot of private and mostly disrespectful things about his wife to the mistress.
ReplyDeleteBut I agree like Dan said, that cheating rarely ends well.
I totally agree. Of course he must be saying nonsense about his wife to get what he wants. But the woman should realize that he is still a fellow woman's husband. Only if they could say 'No, go back to your wife and if you think she is that bad, then stop disrespecting her any further. You guys should work out what would be best for you.'
DeleteKiky took the words right out of my mouth:) Easy to justify when it's not their husband. I don't know what it's like but I'm sure for many women who have experienced it, it's not funny at all.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed sad.
DeleteNemesis will catch up on those women
ReplyDeleteMy pastor once told youngladies in church to date married men at their own marriage's risk. It sounded funny then but really some ladies are twisted. I knw a wife nd girlfriend of a guy friend nd d wife is always tryin to keep the homefront perfect while he's busy comparin nd contrasting. wat annoys me is dat his wife musnt even ve a close male friend. Like d yorubas say the professional behader wants no one to carry d cutlass past his own head.ladies need to think nd stop tryin to justify wat doesn't exist
ReplyDelete