Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It happens....

Once (twice or more who knows) in a lady’s life, she meets a man who doesn’t want to date or have a relationship with her but only wants to have sex with her and is bold enough to approach her [over the phone or in person] to let her know just that.

He doesn’t want her friendship [even if he says he does], he doesn’t want any care [he aint giving it so....], he doesn’t give a isht about commitment [oh yeah, he is doing it with three other willing girls]. He just wants to have sex. Maybe once, twice or more who knows.

Ok no, I am not venting or anything. Lol. It is just that sometimes when some ladies meet these men, they tend to think there was something they did wrong. Maybe they smiled too much or maybe their skirt was too short or exuded too much sexuality. And that made that guy think that they were cheap or something worse.

One would think that a guy comes up and tries to touch a lady inappropriately when she is wearing a very short skirt with wild hair and strutting her stuff and asking ‘Who wants a lap dance?’ No. A guy came up and tried to kiss a girl I know on the road and in broad daylight. And she was wearing a T shirt and uninteresting looking jeans.

Anyway, the truth is this, that ‘relationship’ that lasted for a month or less and then he ended it without any relevant reason might just be because he had gotten what he’d wanted and wanted out. Period. It wasn’t any fault of the lady’s. Somehow, fate in its way of making life a huge joke sometimes, just sent the guy her way.

This very decent young woman met this guy at a wedding. He seemed nice and shared her love for music and books. So they became fast friends [in her mind I guess]. Then the guy started talking about sex. Of course she thought it was a joke. Then that was all he ever talked about; his escapades, what he really wanted to try out, his fantasies. When the girl said she thought they were friends, he made it clear what he wanted. The lady said she would pass and boom! The guy became hostile. So this lady began to ask what it was about her that attracted someone like that.

Men, being the very physical people they are, still want one night stands, still tell stories usually lies, to get women into their beds and still have their way once in a while. That is the way it is.

Now some people may say that people would treat you as good as you present yourself. Mostly the case but sometimes people treat you or react to you in a way you know you couldn’t have deserved.

So, girl you aint being inappropriate in anyway. You are attractive and lively and he just wanted to... you know. Not because you attract crazy men but because well, it happens. So just say your piece and take a walk.

Life oh life ooohh life.....[you know that song?]

Lily Johnson


  1. well d first two paragrapghs describe a selfish n disrespectful man

  2. @Chizy K- You do know that i am not talking about all men? Yes, a girl sometimes meets a selfish and disrespectful man who wants nothing else but sex. Thanks.

  3. Errrrr, its not only guys that 'use' women in this context. Girls treat men as sexual objects too. Wanting to sleep with him just because they want to satisfy some curiousity or craving. When the two sex predators meet themselves it is wonderful but when some innocent becomes the prey, it is sad.

  4. @Ginger: You are right. But I am talking about guys here and the women that think there must have been something they did wrong. Ofcourse, these women are everywhere but many atimes, their reason for wanting to sleep with the guy isnt the same with the reasons guys want to sleep with the women. Thanks dear.

  5. Thank you jare, Ginger. I was about to say that too. Lily, I feel you. I get your point and I would say the same goes for every lady that just wants something from the guy and gives no ish about commitment - it happens; it's very possible nothing is wrong with you. Haha

    - LDP

  6. ooooh life, oh life.

    Yes, Lily, I totally get you. I think its eitherways.....the ones who are throwing it out there n consequently getting that kind of attention n those who are not even inclined yet get the approach.

    In the latter case, I'll say its more about the man. He's the one with the perverted mind who can't think anything else but sex. The lady is just fine n normal....she didn't do anything wrong by looking good. Have u seen 'For Coloured girls?' Its a typical example.

  7. I swear I hope my son never acts like that. I am so hoping I have raised him better!

  8. I know that song from Desiree right? I concur with this post oh. Guys are just guys sometimes. It's no fault of the girl that he acts the way he does so she shouldn't beat herself up over it


  9. too many guys lie & tell a wmn what she wants to here to get what he wants so i say kudos to a man who is up front with a wmn & tells her he is not looking for a relationship from the beginning. and shame on wmn who don't LISTEN and feel like they can change the man.

    if he says all he wants is sex and you want more, then move on. if thats all you want too, then i guess it's a perfect union :)

  10. I worked with a married man named Mike years ago. He asked me to lunch, and since we had lunched with other co-workers numerous times before, I said sure. This time it was just us.

    He came right out over lunch and said that he wanted to have sex with me and I nearly choked on my sandwich.

    I thanked him, said I was flattered, but also that there was no way in the world that would happen. We weren't as friendly after that as you can imagine. I really didn't see it coming at all. But I've been told by guys that once in a while, a woman says "OK". Not this woman.

  11. @LDP: I agree with her too. I was kind of talking about women that feel there must have been something wrong they did. Ofcourse there are ladies out there too that are just the same. Thanks!

    @Omoregee: Yes, a number of women are out there that don't even want anything like that and yet it happens to them and they are like why? Men that want nothing but sex from a particular woman might say he was being honest but what he really is, is selfish. I will try to see the movie. Thanks!

  12. @Noe Noe Girl: Ofcourse you did dear. Your son would grow to be a man of honour.Thanks!

    @The Corner Shop: Yes, i think it is Desiree. Yeah, she should just take a walk about forget all about it.

  13. @simplychic: Someone i know read this piece and said exactly the same thing. Well, that's your own point of view which is that the man is being honest. It means he wants what he wants but that is a tad selfish on his part. However, you are so right about women seeing the handwriting on the wall and go into a relationship hoping to change the man. So wrong! Thanks!

    @Linda: The guy was married? The guts! I would have acted in the same manner. Just add the fact that the words would be dripping with sarcasm. Yeah, and not this woman too. Thanks ma!

  14. It sure happens and it swings both ways...just that some cry foul even when it had been spelt out to them from the first day!

  15. The lady should not blame herself. She should take it as experience in the university of life and next time she will be able to seperate the decent ones from the he-goats(lol,joke oooo)

    Anyway here is my take on this brilliant piece.

    1. ALL ladies of a certain age(i.e not girls and not yet in menopause) have a period every month in which they exude sexuality, and its usually when their ovulating (i.e in some animals its called being on heat??)and men are powerless in the presence of an ovulating woman and cant resist but be attracted or drawn to such a woman.mind you not all men ACT on that attraction sha.

    2.In view of the above, men approach all sorts of ladies,yes,but we notice the rate for the scantily clad ladies (hey her wears screams for attention na) more than the traffic rate of the ones in hijab(abi kilonpe?lol)

    3.Ladies react to what they hear Hence men lying all over town to tell them what they want to hear,'I am single, rich and want to settle down this year and you are the woman of my dreams'.

    Men react to what they see. Hence women with the victoria secrets, make up, extensions etc to show men what they want to see.

    4.The lady in your blog had it good as the man was at least truthful about reacting to the sexiness she exudes. The fact that he then chose to act so badly is down to his ego and immaturity. Immaturity becos surely if he is bold and jobless enough to toast 20 girls that week/month he didnt expect all of them to agree for his immature self?shuo?

    Just my opinion sha!;)

  16. @Ibhade: Yes o! It does swing both ways. Thanks.

    @Mena: Thanks for your comment. You were so on point. We all get our own for body sha. Lolz.

  17. Interesting post and comments. Ibhade and mena have said my mind.

    And I'm now following.

  18. @Myne; You are sooo welcome. Thanks.

  19. Blessings....
    Its funny most women would find a man like that disrespectful but the truth is i can appriecate a man like that, no games, no fancy words, just the truth straight up and you as a woman can answer straight up and not feel guilty because you are being just as honest. I actually have had this experience a few times and though my answer is always no thank you. I really have respect for a man who could say what he wants straight up without pretending real interest in a deep relationship when he is not. Too many men out there play the game, one or two date and then expect pussy because they buy you too cheap drinks and some food on a couple of dates that don't amount to $75.

    My thing is don't knock the brother that will aproach you with his intentions it allows my to exercise my right to say no, yeah it may sound crude or even rude but it doesn't mean you have to accept or give him attitude either. Just say thanks but no thanks and I appreciate your candor. You may be saying is she crazy, but i'll tell you this i prefer the crude brother than the smooth brother who would wine you, dine you, use you, lie to you every chance he gets tell he gets what he wants and then loose your number and behave like you've never met and move on to the next conquest.

    The straight up brother and the smooth brother's game is the same only their approach is different.

    Stay blessed.....

  20. I wish most Ladies would read this was an eye opener for


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