Friday, September 3, 2010
The Mother, You and the Balance
Now, just as you and your man have your disagreements, occasional shouting matches and different opinions and beliefs, so have he and his mother. So there would be disagreements once in a while between them.
If you occasional go to your man’s folks when you are having conflicts with him and they have been able to call him to order each time, you develop a deep sense of respect and admiration for them even without knowing it,.
Now, what happens when your man and his folks especially his mother fall out and his mother tells you about it? This may seem very easy to answer and even handle right? You just talk to your man and of course, he would listen to you, apologise to his mum and you all lived happily ever after. Very possible especially if he was wrong. But what if he wasn’t? What if his mother should be the one to apologise and not the other way round even though she is seriously expecting it? And expecting you to talk some sense into him to do the right thing? Oh no!
You are just standing there, wondering what to do because it isn’t about taking sides but being as sensible, practical and unbiased as you can be. And trust me, it is difficult.
One wrong statement could destroy the good relations you have with your mother in-law (or to-be) and could also bring serious conflict between you and your man. And of course, if you are too hard on your man, you might be surprised to get a negative reaction from his mother and vice versa!
So what do you do for crying out loud? I am not a pro but listen to these do and don’ts.
1. If you want to say “You are wrong” or “You shouldn’t have done that” to his folks, put it mildly and never raise your voice. Even if your man is there fuming and shouting the house down
6. Unless you are invited to air your views, stay away from rather touchy family subjects.
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