Monday, October 18, 2010

Crazy Moments

Crazy moments. We all have them. Right? Those moments that you totally eff up or something bizarre happens to you. Could be a mistake on your part or maybe fate was just having a good time messing with you. And grinning something fierce.

A girl recorded her most embarrasing moment to be the day she was studying in a library packed with all kinds of people; old, young, geeks and stalkers. Then it got a bit hot. She was wearing a tank under her sweater so she decided to take the sweater off but unfortunately, she took the tank off too. So she was in this library packed with all kinds of people in her old lacy bra and all kinds of eyes were starring at her. She tried to put the sweater back on but you girls know that the hardest part of wearing a tight piece of clothing is actually putting it on.

A word here.

In situations like this, darlings, there is no winning formula or anything you can do to make the situation better than it is. And please, do not expect anyone to do anything to make you feel better either. They could try and fail and you would feel worse off. So this is the time to visit the only person that can actually do something that might work; you!

Now, do not make eye contact with anyone immediately something very embarrasing happens to you. Trust me, you might make eye contact with an elephant who in my opinion, has eyes that ooz care and pity, and see 10 shades of mockery. You have less than two minutes to stare and not see anything and to brace yourself. During this time, your thoughts should bother on things like this:

I am afterall human.
This will eventually belong to the past.
Everybody faces terrible moments once in a while and erm.. the lady that is chuckling there if you haven't, I hope you trip and fall.
And yes people, this isn't going to change the fact that I am a fabulous person with a great personality.

Then you pick yourself up (and your sweater) and apologise if you have to.

One evening, I was in a hurry to go see my favourite aunt. I was wearing flats and when I was about to cross the road, bam! I fell on one knee by the side of the road with the bags i was carrying. A fall that was anything but graceful. I was wearing a sweet top and skinny jeans. I looked good! I was up in a split second because it was a busy road and it was a miracle that I wasn't hit by a bike. What did I do? I just crossed the road and kept walking. The people that saw me didn't laugh. Infact, they looked surprised. Though I am still not sure if it was because I actually fell and it wasn't like anyone pushed me or because of the Robocop moves after it.

Get over it dear. Even stars and celebrities are having their fair share of embarrasing moments and the whole world gets to 'google it', watch it on YouTube and E!. Do you envy them now? And jeez! it is like Fate was having a drink with his best pal and had an epiphany "Lets just make them trip and fall on stage!"
Best pal: "Who?"
Fate: "Uuh! Singers."
Best pal: "Oh!" (he is already well acquinted with his jokes and sometimes doesn't find them funny)
Fate: "They'd be performing on stage as usual and bam! they fall." (Laughs hysterically)
Best pal: "Oh!" (Lets face it. What can he really say to change his mind?)
Fate: "The female singers. The best of them. They already have everything they want so...."
Best pal: "Oh!"
Fate: "Lets face it. They should know that a day like that would come with all those sky high shoes they wear. What is it called again? Pumps right? And they dare to dance in them?" Puts hand on Best pal's mouth. "One more Oh! and I will......"

Have yourselves a great week!

Lily Johnson


  1. Crazy mortifying moments? Have I had those! your advice is soo on point. My last mishap was in church. Was in this 6 inch sandals sashaying back to my seat from the Altar and right there in the middle of the aisle, 20 steps from my seat, my right heel came off. I had to hobble my way to my seat.

  2. I have never had anything embarrassing happen to me, not me, not ever, no sirree...except for that time when...never mind...
    Lily Johnson you are a delight!

  3. @Ginger: OMG! Things that embarrasing happen even in sacred places. Yep they do. And did it change the fact that you are totally awesome? Nah! Thanks for the comment.

    @Sandra: Thanks for the comment. It's ok not to share. Some of them are just...horrible.

  4. your advice is so on point.

    recently almost slipped on the road while twitting on my phone in really high heeled sandal...I did not bother looking around, I just walked on, but I caught them laughing eyes.

  5. Move on....good point. Great week!

  6. Lily, when my children were young, we lived in an apartment in San Francisco. We had a lovely young African American couple move in next door. He was a minister at a Baptist church. I invited them over for coffee.

    My daughter was about two and my son was five. My daughter came walking out with something buzzing in her hand. What the hell? Oh, it's a penis shaped vibrator turned on. How nice! Fortunately, my new neighbors and I started laughing at the same time. No explanations needed.

  7. I've had my share of crazy-moments! I'll spare you the details!

  8. @Afrigenic: Yep, you just move on with your fabulous life. Thanks for the comment.

    @blogoratti: Been a while blogoratti. Thanks for the comment.

  9. @Linda: Jeez! They are really polite people! Some folks would have totally freaked out. Thanks for the comment and i am glad you read the post.

    @Noe Noe girl: We all have them dear. It is ok not to share.

  10. Ha! We all have 'em....can't avoid 'em. The Embarrassing Moment. I've had plenty.

    Just yesterday, I went to squat down to rest my legs (on line to get my car battery replaced at Sears) and I fell on my ass. My freakin' bag was too heavy and it threw me off.

    What did I do? Well, I sat myself on the floor in the Zen position and had a nice rest. No-one said a word.

  11. @Kat: Hahahha!I just don't understand why some things just choose to happen. You just wanted to squat!but of course your leg had to give way. And at Sears!
    You are wonderful Kat. Thanks for the comment.

  12. Oh my! The comments are just cracking me up. I can relate to Kat and zen moments.


  13. LOL ha haaaa well do shakara and fall flat on your face.. that would be something.. infact in front of some dude you like. Na real wa.
    I remember mgbe m n'ami aka.. that is how they put me on blast in front of this dude I had a massive crush on then wetin happen after that? I made myself stop it.. and that was well over 12 yrs ago

  14. @Ginger: Yeah, Kat is a sweetheart. Hilarious too. And yeah @Linda: Mom!!!

    @Nice Anon:Hey ya! Nne, sometimes, even our own family and friends choose to play a major role in major embarrassing situations. The bobo nwe ike i like ndi na ami aka o! You had to stop before you found out right? Thanks for the comment Nice.

  15. lovely post! loved d comments!

    embarrassing moments! *sigh* we all hv them atleast I know I have a gang.

    Hope ur hvn a great week doll!

  16. Humph!...where should i start from ehn?.*grinning* many o...but am kind of use to it somehow sha...i simply BONE bigtime & continue with what am true about the advice.

  17. we have to be able to laugh at ourselves in those crazy awkward moments

  18. @Dith: Thanks dear. I ejoyed reading all the comments too

    @NGT: Sometimes eh, you'd even be wondering if you have offended anyone. Lol! We all have them plenty. Thanks for the comment.

    @simplychic: You are right dear. Laugh at yourself before they can get the chance to. It was your moment! lol. Thanks for the comment.

  19. Very heartfelt post and sound advice, girl! Thanks!


  20. @CC: You are welcome dear. Thanks for the comment.

  21. I can't even begin to tell you how many crazy moments I have experienced in my lifetime; you just have to move on from them!! :P

  22. Oh waoh, I can almost imagine the scenario. Lovely blog you have on here. Thanks for stopping by at mine.

  23. @Mamuje: You are welcome. Thanks for the comment.


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