Wednesday, January 30, 2013

When a woman falls in love and loses herself..

Love is the best feeling of all feelings. To love and to know that you are loved as well with the same intensity. That smile when you remember some stuff you guys do together. That feeling of contentment that you get when you remember him. Most times, the world sort of fades away when you are with him. The touch, the kiss, the peace....

It is so easy to get totally lost in this. It is even okay if it is with the right man. A man who would not take advantage of it and ruin you. A man who cannot but destroy everything that comes his way. A man who is in ruins himself and can’t offer any better to anyone.

Imagine being hopelessly and desperately in love with a drug addict. What good can come out of it? He is probably the most handsome and loving man in the world. He tells you every day that he loves you and would kill himself if you leave him. And you believe him because when you didn’t call him for a day, he actually did cut himself. You are the only one he has because his family has stopped caring. 

He is good at what he does but anytime they find out about his drug issue, he gets sacked. So he is in and out of jobs. It is a sad situation because he does try to quit. But never checks himself into any rehab. When you met him, you didn’t have the slightest idea he did drugs and when you found out, it was too late. The fact is, many women would totally forget themselves and what is right thing to do in this situation which is checking him into rehab or running as far away as possible. They choose to stay and end up addicts themselves and ruin two lives. 


It is not easy of course to run when you are in love. But if you love him enough, you should get him to clean up. Do it with all your strength and will and if he loves you, he would want to be better for your sake. If he doesn’t, what does that tell you?

Imagine falling desperately and hopelessly in love with an assassin/armed robber. He sent you gifts like Santa Claus after the first date. You couldn’t believe it. Then you began dating and it got better. He took to places that you didn’t think you would ever go to. You had access to his beautiful house and car. You loved him. He made you happy. 

Then you began to find guns, knives and dangerous weapons in his possession. You eavesdropped on his conversations when he was on the phone despite yourself. Read his messages when he was in the shower. You were now sure that this man you were in love with was a murderer. And he did it for people that paid handsomely for it. Very few women would call the Police on him. Even fewer would carry their bags and look for an excuse and bolt. Many would weep and confront him. Endangering their own lives in the process because what if no one is supposed to know and who ever finds out would be killed?

Lottie Coll, the wife of legendary Irish gangster/murderer Vincent 'Mad Dog' Coll

 In the movies, the man would probably ask her to forgive him and he had to do one more job and then it would all be over and they would live happily ever after. That is if the ‘boss’ doesn’t kill him when he hears his ‘best man’ wants to quit. In reality, some women would begin to hold guns for the man or even begin to go on ‘operations’ with the man. A girl who was raised in a good home would because she is in love, become an accessory to something as serious as murder. A number of women are cooling their heels in jails across the world because of this. Those are the ones that are alive to tell the story. Put yourself first. Not ‘us’ but ‘you’ in this situation. God has changed the stony hearts of many men. It can be your story if your faith is strong enough. Is it? 

Love yourself first. Love yourself enough to know when to put yourself first. Love yourself enough to stay alive and make an effort to change someone for good instead of allowing someone to make you a monster. Think of all the people that love you and want the best for you before taking that leap into abyss.

If it can’t make you a better person, then you are better off without it. Or him.

Stay good.

Lily Johnson

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  1. 'If it can’t make you a better person, then you are better off without it. Or him'

    You can say that again....

    1. Yes. If it aint good for you, then you are good without it.

  2. Deep and thought provoking,another beautiful piece by Lily Johnson

  3. You summed it up well in the end. When you were describing how one can be sucked into dangerous or harmful actions or activities, that is scary! Ladies in love can shine their eyes too.

    1. Yes ooo. To shine your eyes when in love, is the beginning of wisdom. I have seen some of these things happen and they are quite scary.

  4. This statement nailed the post, "If it can’t make you a better person, then you are better off without it. Or him."

    Love is a beautiful thing and can also be the deadliest of all.

    1. Very very deadly something if not managed properly.

  5. Lovely post. love as an addiction is deadly. You said it all!!!

  6. Sometimes i think its pride that keeps women in such terrible relationships. They want to be the one that is praised for standing by their man or bringing change in his life..not realising that the man that set himself on the path of destruction is the only one that can get himself off it.

    Indeed if the relationship doesnt make you a better person then one is better off without.


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