Thursday, May 22, 2014

Self Assessment Time: Am I a hot headed person??

Steve, a dear friend of mine who is a veteran in social work and human relations thought he should ask me some self assessment questions. I had been telling him about some situations I'd found myself in for some days now.

You know those days it feels like everyone sort of got paid or something to annoy the hell out of you?

Take for example, how are you suppose to react when you pay for something, get a date for the service to be performed and the service provider keeps postponing and postponing without an apology? And when you complain, the person gets angry and even disrespects you? Or a person stands you up after setting a meeting with you and someone you invited for a business talk and didn't even bother to offer a reason or an apology or any word? Pause and think about it.

So the self assessment questions and my answers.

Steve: Do you have a short fuse?
Lily: Not really depends.

Steve: Do you feel a need to fight your corner in most situations that you feel attacked?
Lily: Most times.

Steve: Do you think you are sensitive and sometimes get defensive?
Lily: Sometimes yes.

Steve: Okay exams finished. I am like that too but lately I'm working on me and reflecting on my triggers and responses. I'm choosing my battles and expending less energy on those things I would in the past have considered irritants.

Now, Steve thinks I might be a bit of a hot head and his advice is for me to choose my battles. Which means you don't have to let everything that should annoy you get to the stage of doing so. Or even when they do, you can decide this shouldn't be one of the things I'll expend my energy on. Of course I don't go yelling at people but most times, you are going to hear how I feel about what happened in a voice that isn't exactly 'of good cheer'. Unless of course I don't think it is worth it. Sometimes, I say nothing.

I am one of those people that wonder how some people can disappoint or not meet up with expectations and feel 'Oh, I don't owe them an apology because I was in traffic. I had another appointment. I was overwhelmed with work.' These things happen but that doesn't mean you should not apologise because your actions though with a reason, might have ruined something for the other person. I would be full of apologies because I don't know what damage I had done. Besides, it's courteous.

So how would you answer the questions above and what do you think?

Stay cool.

Lily Johnson.

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