After reading this article, I decided to put it up here [after asking for and getting Charly Boy’s approval] especially since Valentine’s day is here when many couples who might be going through the See Finish Syndrome are probably trying to get each other gifts. Maybe not. What is funny is many people who are courting/dating after a few years, break up because of this. This article makes a lot of sense. Charly Boy went there! It is a long read, a bit explicit and funny but not boring at all so buckle up.
The articleWhen two people, lovers, friends, partners or even team mates can consistently predict one another’s moves like clockwork, it is called SEE FINISH.
See finish can help one in fully understanding your partner. However, See finish in a marriage has its own bad sides and if not checked can lead to the death of DESIRE in a marriage, especially, sexually.
That’s when couples start to take each other for granted and no longer as granted. SEE FINISH in a marriage is when one spouse is desperately yearning for more sex, connection or physical closeness, and the other for whatever reason, seems a bit unconcerned about their partner’s feelings, or just not with it anymore.
For instance, if in the beginning of a marriage, a couple enjoyed going out together and five years into their union as husband and wife, both of them begin to hate the idea of hanging out with each other,hmmmmmm SEE FINISH has entered the matter.
See finish is when your spouse is no longer attractive sexually, when you start looking at your spouse as a sister or a brother. For married people, it when making love has become a chore instead of the affirmation of love and intimacy.
The worst stage of See Finish in a marriage that there are couples who haven’t made it to their 10th year in marriage and already there is little or no action in the bedroom? If their desire has finally kicked the bucket before year ten, we that have survived 37 years should ask for a divorce or what? There are couples who have lost all intimacy in their marriage, some of them live under the same roof like total strangers and some are just co-habiting. It is crazy but it is true.
Mehhnnn, it is not easy waking up to the same face, the same smell, the same breast, the same person year in, year out, but everything special takes working at, takes cultivation, takes patience and the will power to make it work. ‘too much of the same woman can kill one’s manhood’ was obviously scripted or corned by a man to justify his wandering p*nis. Hmmmmm, and I will always ask, can too much of the same p*nis kill a woman’s desire for the same man? After all, what’s sauce for the goose should also be sauce for the gander, abi how una see am?. But guess what, more women these days are caught up in this See Finish Syndrome more than the man care to admit, I swear.
This much I can say with all certainty, that desire dwindles in marriages if you don’t work on keeping the flame burning, if you’re not observant in noticing that some things have changed, if finally you can’t just be bothered about fixing it. no marriage can escape the See Finish Syndrome, either couples are prepared to work on it and work it out when it rears its ugly head or forget about any form of intimacy whatsoever. I can understand couples who have been together for at least 50 years, that’s when we are pardoned for being brothers and sisters and best friends, maybe no longer sexual lovers. Some of us can’t even make it to our 10th year without feeling sexually suffocated. Please I am not preaching here, because I’m no saint, but I know I am where I am today because I work at it.
Does any of this sound familiar? Is your marriage going through a bad patch because of the See Finish Syndrome? Would you want to work at it or would you rather it died completely? For me, I enjoy my ‘reserved’ status as Charly Boy. Maybe because I am all played out or maybe because I have seen it all. I have chosen to respect myself especially my body and continue to work with the devil I know than the the beauty queen to come. I have passed through the See Finish Syndrome phase before. It was only my determination to put all my real joy in one basket that made me sort myself out and battle to get my groove back. It wasn’t easy at all, but after all I am Charly Boy, and I can do whatever I set my mind to. Right?
Couples can fight about anything, but if they can kiss and make love, it soothes the bad feelings; it is like a rebirth, a forgiving ritual. But when your spouse is deprived of even that, bitterness, resentment and desperation accumulates.
If your spouse’s libido has been slacking, just know that the most powerful sex organ is between your ears, you need to approach your partner with greater understanding, compassion and wisdom. It may be difficult but talk to your spouse because you both need adjustments if you are to have a healthier marriage. Find out how you both can rekindle the flame. If your spouse can’t or doesn’t want to see that there is heavy ‘gbege’ and doesn’t want to change, then, you have to decide if low sex marriage is a deal breaker for you. However, if one of you is having an affair where the culprit is getting better sex outside than inside, then wahala dey. You better start preparing a requiem for your relationship.
My people, this matter no easy joor. I don talk my own sha.
Charly Boy. [Written in his Nuts & Screws Column in the Saturday Sun February 8th 2014]
Happy Valentine’s Day people. Kisses!