Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Friend Zone

Of course we have all heard that before. Sometimes, someone is saying it as a joke or some guy (or girl) is telling a painful story about how some girl (or guy) after a whole lot of love and affection and stress, decided to put him (or her) in the dreaded monster island ruled by a half human half dragon creature called the friend zone.

I totally understand that when a man likes a woman romantically but for some reason, the woman doesn't feel the same way but feels they could be friends; it can't be easy for the man and he may want to move on and not be friends with the lady. In fact, I think that is the best for both parties.

What is baffling and completely crazy is this: When a woman tells a man from the beginning that she can't have a romantic relationship with him probably for a good reason like she is dating or engaged or she doesn't think it would work out between them and he decided to ...well, stay friends with her. Then all of a sudden, he starts complaining to the world that she put him in the friend zone and because it is such a crazy place that only 'weak' men allow themselves to be in, he becomes a totally hateful creature to the lady.

It isn't right if it was the woman that led the man on and on and made him believe that he had a chance with her and after raising the man's hopes, tell him she can only be friends with him. Yes, that should do a lot to anyone's ego. If that's the case, the man can safely write a book on the subject and we would all buy. But feeling this way when you were expressly told from the beginning and you lingered believing that he/she would change her mind about you and it didn't happen? Honey, it is nobody's fault.

Everything does depend on individuals. Some people have good relationships with people they had thought would be their lovers. For some people, the friend zone doesn't exist. If you like a person a lot to want to be in a romantic relationship with him/her, what is wrong with being friends? Might be a tad hard for some of us though.
Friendship is indeed a beautiful thing and I am one of the people that believe that your spouse/partner should be your friend. No matter how it comes, why not open your hearts to all the beautiful things that could come out of it?

Have a wonderful week!

Lily Johnson


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  2. Mainly the Friend Zone issue comes up because a woman and a man start out as friends, but then something happens to make them both single at the same time. Yet, for some reason, one or the other wants the relationship to stay platonic, when there is an obvious way it could go forward. It really gets back when the one that wants to stay just friends starts to complain there aren't any good members of the opposite sex worth while, when there is one directly in front of them.

    So many songs and movies have been made on the subject, I definitely like your take on it. I lived in a friend zone place for a good portion of my youth, because I was a 'harmless' guy. But what I learned is, 'harmless' really meant not aggressive enough to move on to anything. I was the guy that would be invited out to hang with women, because they all knew I wouldn't go for any of them, because I was a great friend. I never minded it, but it was definitely something I couldn't help but notice, and wonder about.

    1. Yeah, that's how i feel about the subject and thanks for your comment.

  3. I think the friend zone is just a bunch of nonsense lol. If someone tells you they aren't interested in you romantically and you chose to hang around, then if anything you put YOURSELF in the friend zone!

    What it all boils down to is an issue of patriarchy and entitlement issues. Just because you like someone and you fancy yourself a "good man" and/or a "catch" doesn't mean the lady is obligated to like you back and/or give you a chance. Especially if she told you from the gate that she didn't like you in that way. The very idea is absurd and just another excuse for some people to whine about not getting what they want.

    1. That's the problem. Why say you have been friendzoned when she had told you from the onset? I think it is just crazy really.

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  5. But I don't understand why guys complain about being in the friend zone. Definitely she can't date everyone who asks her out...and if you can't get her as a girlfriend, why not be a good friend? Would you rather miss out of everything she has to offer just because she doesn't French kiss you and pick future baby names with you?

    Na wa for some guys sha

    1. Na real wa jare. I don't just get some guys.

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  8. From my experience, I would say a big 'no, no' to this so called friend zone thing. I just had the confirmation last week and I'm pretty sure the wisest thing to avoid any unnecessary trouble is to just create an acquaintance zone and file them there. It's just about messing around with someone who is constantly wishing your relationship doesn't work, and no one else in the world would want you, so he/she can have you all to themselves. And you'd think they are just wishing, well, of course they'll see to that conveniently by being "friends" with you.

    1. Yeah, your point is valid. If the guy is the type that is constantly wishing your relationship falls apart, then no way. Just move away from him.

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