Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Weird times in a girl’s life.

When she falls into a gutter on a busy road with more than 50 people starring

I went to a salon to have my hair retouched. The salon was not too far from my home. When I was done, I walked to the bus stop and when I wanted to cross a big, stinking gutter to go and take a bike, fiam! My leg just decided to have a life of its own and failed me. I think my slippers contributed to the whole thing.

My hands were on the ground, the money in my hand was everywhere and my BlackBerry bounced severally before it came to a halt. And my more than half my feet was in this disgusting pool of Lagos nonsense. I think I was in shock for about 30 secs.

The thing with this kind of awkward situation is that there is nothing you can do to make it better. So when it happened, I just picked myself up. A guy was on my case telling me to wash my legs with satchet [pure] water. I did but he wouldn’t shut up.

‘Wash it well well aunty. This one na virus o!’ ‘Buy more water now’
Oh God! Why me?

I washed and washed my leg, got tired after buying about six satchets of water and walked to a bike stand. People stared at me but I walked confidently like nothing happened. I have seen a gorgeously dressed lady fall on her butt. Wrong shoes I think. She did the unthinkable. She began to cry! A grown ass woman began to cry in public because she fell down. She wasn’t wounded or anything. Just grossly embarrassed.

Anyway, I took a bike home. I was already tugging at the jeans when my sister opened the door for me and I told her the story in the most dramatic way. I put the kettle on and later spent close to an hour in the bathroom scrubbing the hell out of myself with hot water and three kinds of antiseptic soap.

The weirdest things happen even to the most fabulous people (y’all join me as I fan myself). Just don’t lose yourself or forget who you are.

Did I add that this happened to me yesterday?

Stay cool folks. No matter what!

Lily Johnson

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  1. Ndooooo! Ndooooooooo! I've always had nightmares about falling into a lagos gutter ewwww. or my phone falling in. Actually my phone has fallen in once. It was some little boys playing football who helped me fish it out. ewww. That phone stank for a while inspite of the vigorous cleaning, but it still worked :)
    Norrin do you jare.

  2. awwwww...sorry babes....nightmareeee

  3. oh wow! sorry lily..i've fallen in public before but not into a gutter and gosh it wasnt a good feeling.

  4. LOL!
    OMG... sorrry dear but you had me LMAOing, as in....
    I cant help it, you painted a graphic picture and its just so funny.
    Im sure if I was in ur shoe i wldnt be laughing this hard but hey, LOL

    Dont worry, it'll give u sth to laugh abt on one boring day sometime soon. Pele

  5. Epic story (kinda hilarious too, sorry)! Good thinking!

    lmao @ the pure water guy.

  6. Oh my little Love! I am so sorry! I hate falling in public (but do love ridiculous shoes). Girl I am so glad you weren't hurt. I fell on a public street because I walked into a utility access hole that wasn't covered. (Broke my ankle in 3 places.) I actually just waited for the ambulance! I was too hurt to be embarrassed!

  7. handled it well ...but laughed at story of the lady who fell and wept! LAGOS?! i had fallen several times..even sprained my ankle in one....hmm..3 different antiseptic soaps?? ALL virus or bacteria go disappear with immediate alacrity! ..take care :D

  8. @Ginger: Nne m dalu! I was so glad my phone didnt fall into the gutter. It would have been something else. Thanks

    @Sisi Yemmie: Thanks luv.

    @P.E.T Project: I laughed after it all so please laugh. Yeah, i know. I am dramatic like that. I think i shudder and laugh each time i remember.

  9. @NikkiSho: My dear, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. But we have to continue living. Thanks.

    @Boma: Yeah i know. I am like that. The pure water guy was just a crazy person. He wouldn't leave me alone!

    @Linda: Thank you so much Ma. You situation was terrible. I just had a scratch. Didn't even bleed.

    @Ibhade: The lady just disgraced herself totally. I think i chuckled. Yes oo, i went to each bathroom in the house and took all the soap i could find and use it on myself so no virus and bacteria! Thanks.

  10. Ewwwwww awful!! My condolences lol. But seriously, i bet that wasn't funny then! Sorry oh!


  11. I am so sorry to hear that, I hope you are ok..having that happen can be devastating, I would cry if it was ME...Stay strong, wash it off , use some warm water and dettol just soak.

    Back in Nigeria, I recall falling in some deep gutter during the festive holiday because I was afraid of knock-out or fireworks those area boys used to throw on the road. I fell in the gutter and ruined the best dress my mother had sewed for me. I used to wear that dress all the time knowing it was lovely and flowed, made me very pretty.

    I hurt myself and cried like a baby, didn't even know where to pick myself up from.

  12. @The Corner Shop: It wasn't funny at all then but life must continue. Thanks dear.

    @Yankeenaijababe: Thanks my dear. I am alright. I know those useless area boys and their pranks. They do it all the time and have hurt many ladies in the process.

  13. I am smiling now...this is not new thing to me...I have slipped a lot of times...maybe not in the gutter and like you, I do not bother to look at people's face trying to hide the smile and faking the story sister. I just walk on.

    Happy new month.

  14. Eeeya

    But its all good na at least people were not laughing.

    You have done the right thing by washing it off, now just remove it from your mind.

    LOL, i can imagine the dramatic way you gave the gist.

  15. @Lara: That is the best way to tackle such a situation. Thanks.

    @Mena: With my hands in the air and speaking igbo? You would have laughed eh. Thanks.

  16. Eeyah. I hope your phone survived the bouncing and your hair too?

  17. hahahahahahahahaha sorry ehn! that's pretty embarrassing but you sure handled it well.

  18. Just reading now, kai! What an embarassment. I think you handled it well sha, wetin I for fit talk if it were me?


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