Thursday, July 14, 2011

My humble opinion

I am so sorry for being M.I.A for a while. It’s just that I had a lot going on for me. I have been extremely busy and soon going to write my exams. I am so happy I am almost through with my programme and hope I come out with something better than I had hoped for.

Well, I also heard the stories most of you guys heard about the violence against women that made headlines last month. I still read somewhere this morning about a woman that cut off her husband’s penis. So it is not just against women, it is that some couples have embraced violence instead of good old communication. And the fact that people don’t do what they ought to do before getting into marriage.

Marriage is supposed to be a union of two people who after finding out they love each other unconditionally, complement each other, can live with each other, can tolerate each other, have mutual respect for each other and want to live for each for the rest of their lives, decided to make the union legal or bring it before God for blessings. Just as any relationship, marriage does have its crazy times but if there is love and tolerance, I believe it would never get to violence. The couple might have screaming matches to vent their frustration and stuff but would not bring a knife to each other’s bodies. 
The problem is that people are getting married daily for reasons that are wrong and even funny. Sometimes, a woman might marry a man she knows doesn’t love her but thinks everything would work out because she loves him to bits. People marry for money, security, to get away from family, to make some ‘prophesy’ to come true, to attain a particular status in the society, to be identified with a particular name maybe because the family is is a terrible situation.

Before and after marriage, couples should always pray together. I am talking about holding hands and praying for God’s guidance. There is something about you and your fiancé or husband holding each other’s hands to pray. It is very intimate. Let him pray for you and you in turn should pray for him then pray for each other, your relationship, your marriage and every other thing.

I still believe that if a marriage isn’t destined to work out, it wouldn’t. I am not carrying placards encouraging divorce but there are some situations that there isn’t any other solution to them than just walking away. Some women [men too] would have been alive or less damaged if they had just done that.

May God in His infinite wisdom guide and protect us all.

RIP Titi and Olori Bolanle

Lily Johnson
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  1. You are right, marriage should be ventured into for the rights reason. bad days will surely come, you just have to make your mind up about how you will deal with it.

  2. Singing: prayer is the key, prayer is the key, prayer is the master key...especially before you take that final step called marriage. Cos after that..two wrongs can't be made right by prayer.

    How are you Sweetie? hope good!

  3. welcome, how was your exam... wish you the right 9jafodie.

  4. Lily, this is a lovely post. I don't think violence is ever the answer to resolve conflict. And although it happens, females don't usually inflict violence on men. It's generally the other way around. Sadly, I think it's about power. Women do inflict violence on their children because they have the power to do so. Men do inflict violence on women because they have the power to do so. Having religious beliefs could certainly help in some cases, but in almost all cases, if you need to inflict violence to feel powerful, you need help mentally and spiritually.

  5. People tend to leave out the spiritual part and God out during courtship and run to Him when problem starts in marriage. How very unwise.

    First time here and following. Please, check out my blog at

  6. The rate pf domestic violence nowadays is alarming.

    seriously, marriage is not for is just a crazy world nowadays.

  7. awesome post! U hit the nail right on the head

  8. @9jaFoodie: Yes, don't know why people still go into marriage for crazy reasons.

    @Ginger: *singing with u* I'm alright honey. Hope you are too.

    @Ibhade: I'm yet to start my exams but am seriously preparing for it. Thanks a lot dear

  9. @Linda: No, violence isn't the answer at all. When one gets that depressed, he or she should get help. And yes, men hurt women more than women do them especially physically. Thanks Ma!

    @@ilola: I'm on it dear. I will as soon as I get on my laptop. This mobile stuff is jist not it. Thanks.

    @'Lara: Yes, I think I agree with you. But you know how it is here. If you aint married, something is wrong with you. It's a sorry situation though.

    @Dith: Thanks hun.

  10. You have said it all, if only we will listen...and ou mothers, aunties and family will listen, we just might live happier lives. Welcome back!


    p.s:your thoughts needed here ;)

  11. Amen oh! Honestly, people DO get married for the wrong reasons. But once that mutual respect is gone it's best to part ways oh

    Good luck on your exam. And glad to see you back here :)

    Muse Origins
    Muse Origins (Creative Nigerian Features)

  12. @Mena: Thanks a lot. I am coming over to your blog.

    @Adiya: I so agree with you dear.

    I hope it is claer i am the one commenting with the anonymous profile. It usually happens like that whenever i try to comment using my Blackberry. Thank you all for your comments.


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