Well, I also heard the stories most of you guys heard about the violence against women that made headlines last month. I still read somewhere this morning about a woman that cut off her husband’s penis. So it is not just against women, it is that some couples have embraced violence instead of good old communication. And the fact that people don’t do what they ought to do before getting into marriage.
Marriage is supposed to be a union of two people who after finding out they love each other unconditionally, complement each other, can live with each other, can tolerate each other, have mutual respect for each other and want to live for each for the rest of their lives, decided to make the union legal or bring it before God for blessings. Just as any relationship, marriage does have its crazy times but if there is love and tolerance, I believe it would never get to violence. The couple might have screaming matches to vent their frustration and stuff but would not bring a knife to each other’s bodies.
The problem is that people are getting married daily for reasons that are wrong and even funny. Sometimes, a woman might marry a man she knows doesn’t love her but thinks everything would work out because she loves him to bits. People marry for money, security, to get away from family, to make some ‘prophesy’ to come true, to attain a particular status in the society, to be identified with a particular name maybe because the family is famous...it is a terrible situation.
Before and after marriage, couples should always pray together. I am talking about holding hands and praying for God’s guidance. There is something about you and your fiancé or husband holding each other’s hands to pray. It is very intimate. Let him pray for you and you in turn should pray for him then pray for each other, your relationship, your marriage and every other thing.
I still believe that if a marriage isn’t destined to work out, it wouldn’t. I am not carrying placards encouraging divorce but there are some situations that there isn’t any other solution to them than just walking away. Some women [men too] would have been alive or less damaged if they had just done that.
May God in His infinite wisdom guide and protect us all.
RIP Titi and Olori Bolanle