Showing posts with label Fate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fate. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A child that looks like you might not necessarily be yours?? Fate plays a cruel game. DNA says it as it is.



I was just telling a friend that fate sometimes just plays weird games with people’s lives. Actually, I say this all the time sometimes as a joke but sometimes, I believe I mean it judging by stuffs that happen sometimes.

This man [let’s call him Mark shall we?] had dated this lady [errr... Mandy] for a while and they broke up. More than a year later, she turned up with a 10 months old baby boy that somewhat looked like the man and told him she didn’t want to tell him that she was pregnant because he had made it clear to her that he wasn’t in the relationship for marriage. In fact, if you knew the man, and you saw the child, you would be convinced it was his. To even make it more convincing, the boy was born with a mole slightly above his left eye and the man’s second son [he is separated from his wife] had a mole there too when he was born. The man didn’t tell anyone this but somehow just believed the boy was his.

Now here is where the problem lies. Mark already has four kids from his marriage and never ‘played without ‘protection’. So even when Mandy turned up with a child that looked a lot like him, he accepted the child but wondered how it happened. Did she harvest his sperm? He was sure that was what she did but why would a woman of her status do that? And you know it means she took a used condom and what? Very very strange isn’t it? Or did she quickly rush to a hospital..... What would that make her? Was she that desperate? Bottom line, it just didn’t make sense. And this drove Mark insane. What was her response when he asked her? ‘Look at that boy and tell me he is not your son’. She refused to talk about it all. So he decided to take the paternity test. Just to be sure. Yes the boy looked like him, had a mole that looked like the one his son has but he had dated this lady for a few months and the few times they had sex, he used condoms.

Source


So he told her, he wanted to do a DNA test. Was she against it? Not really. She believed he wouldn’t go through with it. It is a rather expensive test. More than a hundred thousand Naira. Why would he waste such funds? He was already taking care of the child. But Mark wanted a DNA test that would prove to him that he was indeed the boy’s dad. Then he can be sure that his sperm was harvested. And probably form an opinion about women. Someone would hear the story and write a circular informing men to dispose their condoms and stuff and pass it round on Blackberry Messenger and Facebook. *rolling my eyes*

Monday, October 18, 2010

Crazy Moments

Crazy moments. We all have them. Right? Those moments that you totally eff up or something bizarre happens to you. Could be a mistake on your part or maybe fate was just having a good time messing with you. And grinning something fierce.

A girl recorded her most embarrasing moment to be the day she was studying in a library packed with all kinds of people; old, young, geeks and stalkers. Then it got a bit hot. She was wearing a tank under her sweater so she decided to take the sweater off but unfortunately, she took the tank off too. So she was in this library packed with all kinds of people in her old lacy bra and all kinds of eyes were starring at her. She tried to put the sweater back on but you girls know that the hardest part of wearing a tight piece of clothing is actually putting it on.

A word here.

In situations like this, darlings, there is no winning formula or anything you can do to make the situation better than it is. And please, do not expect anyone to do anything to make you feel better either. They could try and fail and you would feel worse off. So this is the time to visit the only person that can actually do something that might work; you!

Now, do not make eye contact with anyone immediately something very embarrasing happens to you. Trust me, you might make eye contact with an elephant who in my opinion, has eyes that ooz care and pity, and see 10 shades of mockery. You have less than two minutes to stare and not see anything and to brace yourself. During this time, your thoughts should bother on things like this:

I am afterall human.
This will eventually belong to the past.
Everybody faces terrible moments once in a while and erm.. the lady that is chuckling there if you haven't, I hope you trip and fall.
And yes people, this isn't going to change the fact that I am a fabulous person with a great personality.

Then you pick yourself up (and your sweater) and apologise if you have to.

One evening, I was in a hurry to go see my favourite aunt. I was wearing flats and when I was about to cross the road, bam! I fell on one knee by the side of the road with the bags i was carrying. A fall that was anything but graceful. I was wearing a sweet top and skinny jeans. I looked good! I was up in a split second because it was a busy road and it was a miracle that I wasn't hit by a bike. What did I do? I just crossed the road and kept walking. The people that saw me didn't laugh. Infact, they looked surprised. Though I am still not sure if it was because I actually fell and it wasn't like anyone pushed me or because of the Robocop moves after it.

Get over it dear. Even stars and celebrities are having their fair share of embarrasing moments and the whole world gets to 'google it', watch it on YouTube and E!. Do you envy them now? And jeez! it is like Fate was having a drink with his best pal and had an epiphany "Lets just make them trip and fall on stage!"
Best pal: "Who?"
Fate: "Uuh! Singers."
Best pal: "Oh!" (he is already well acquinted with his jokes and sometimes doesn't find them funny)
Fate: "They'd be performing on stage as usual and bam! they fall." (Laughs hysterically)
Best pal: "Oh!" (Lets face it. What can he really say to change his mind?)
Fate: "The female singers. The best of them. They already have everything they want so...."
Best pal: "Oh!"
Fate: "Lets face it. They should know that a day like that would come with all those sky high shoes they wear. What is it called again? Pumps right? And they dare to dance in them?" Puts hand on Best pal's mouth. "One more Oh! and I will......"

Have yourselves a great week!

Lily Johnson
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