Crazy Moments

Crazy moments. We all have them. Right? Those moments that you totally eff up or something bizarre happens to you. Could be a mistake on your part or maybe fate was just having a good time messing with you. And grinning something fierce.

A girl recorded her most embarrasing moment to be the day she was studying in a library packed with all kinds of people; old, young, geeks and stalkers. Then it got a bit hot. She was wearing a tank under her sweater so she decided to take the sweater off but unfortunately, she took the tank off too. So she was in this library packed with all kinds of people in her old lacy bra and all kinds of eyes were starring at her. She tried to put the sweater back on but you girls know that the hardest part of wearing a tight piece of clothing is actually putting it on.

A word here.

In situations like this, darlings, there is no winning formula or anything you can do to make the situation better than it is. And please, do not expect anyone to do anything to make you feel better either. They could try and fail and you would feel worse off. So this is the time to visit the only person that can actually do something that might work; you!

Now, do not make eye contact with anyone immediately something very embarrasing happens to you. Trust me, you might make eye contact with an elephant who in my opinion, has eyes that ooz care and pity, and see 10 shades of mockery. You have less than two minutes to stare and not see anything and to brace yourself. During this time, your thoughts should bother on things like this:

I am afterall human.

This will eventually belong to the past.

Everybody faces terrible moments once in a while and erm.. the lady that is chuckling there if you haven't, I hope you trip and fall.

And yes people, this isn't going to change the fact that I am a fabulous person with a great personality.

Then you pick yourself up (and your sweater) and apologise if you have to.

One evening, I was in a hurry to go see my favourite aunt. I was wearing flats and when I was about to cross the road, bam! I fell on one knee by the side of the road with the bags i was carrying. A fall that was anything but graceful. I was wearing a sweet top and skinny jeans. I looked good! I was up in a split second because it was a busy road and it was a miracle that I wasn't hit by a bike. What did I do? I just crossed the road and kept walking. The people that saw me didn't laugh. Infact, they looked surprised. Though I am still not sure if it was because I actually fell and it wasn't like anyone pushed me or because of the Robocop moves after it.

Get over it dear. Even stars and celebrities are having their fair share of embarrasing moments and the whole world gets to 'google it', watch it on YouTube and E!. Do you envy them now? And jeez! it is like Fate was having a drink with his best pal and had an epiphany "Lets just make them trip and fall on stage!"
Best pal: "Who?"
Fate: "Uuh! Singers."
Best pal: "Oh!" (he is already well acquinted with his jokes and sometimes doesn't find them funny)
Fate: "They'd be performing on stage as usual and bam! they fall." (Laughs hysterically)
Best pal: "Oh!" (Lets face it. What can he really say to change his mind?)
Fate: "The female singers. The best of them. They already have everything they want so...."
Best pal: "Oh!"
Fate: "Lets face it. They should know that a day like that would come with all those sky high shoes they wear. What is it called again? Pumps right? And they dare to dance in them?" Puts hand on Best pal's mouth. "One more Oh! and I will......"

Have yourselves a great week!

Lily Johnson

Pretty red...in the face!

I found myself in a rather embarrassing situation this morning. I know some people really know how to deal with situations like that but sincerely, sometimes, I just go really red in the face and smile in that ‘I am so embarrassed’ kind of way.

I just got a MAC compact powder as a gift from a very nice gentleman who happens to be my best friend’s man. Being a lover of make up, you can imagine how thrilled I was. I have been using IMAN and Mary Kay for a while and they have been serving me just well but this was something I hadn’t tried before and I am adventurous.

So, I had to go to school today and I used the powder and made up real well. Not too much though. I actually despise too much make up. It comes out tacky and makes the lady look cheap. Seriously. I just go for moderate and flawless finish.

I dressed up and headed for the bus stop. I had an important lecture by 8 a.m. I was making calls and greeting people on my way. I took a second to observe my surroundings. Why on earth weren’t people rushing to board buses as usual? Why was the street sort of empty? But then I didn’t slow down. I got to the bus stop and the bus drivers and conductors just stared at me like I fell from space. I thought I heard a chuckle.

Then, it hit me like a thunderbolt! I was at the bus stop gorgeously dressed, wearing my new makeup and looking sweet on a day that Lagos state calls Sanitation day which is every last Saturday of every month. I was at the bus stop by 7:30am and the exercise usually ended by 10am. It has been like that for years now. So there I was, standing there wondering what on earth I was thinking. After a while, I just turned back and started walking home. Some of them had a good laugh.

To make matters worse, I realized that some petty traders sweeping out their stalls were starring and gossiping.

Jeez!

I thought the best thing to do was to bring out my phone and call someone and be oblivious of my surroundings until I got to my door. That lttle show cost me a lot.

I had to go back anyway. So I did by 10:30am you know just to make sure that I didn't get any more surprises. I was lucky that every body was too busy to see the ‘girl that forgot it was sanitation day’.

Wishing you a great weekend filled with pleasant surprises.



Lily Johnson.


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