While some women might be well aware of their husbands’
opinions concerning polygamy maybe because they are Muslims or traditionalists
or just a person who believes it’s only natural for a man to have more than one
wife, some are not until it hits them square in the face.
I have watched two women I know go through the terrible
ordeal of finding out, fighting to keep their men, and then sadly living with
the fact that their husbands are married to other [younger] women.
Woman A: Martha’s husband was her college sweetheart. He found
it difficult to pay school fees at the time because his father had three wives
and his mum was the first wife. The man who was just a farmer couldn’t take
care of his children. Martha’s parents were doing well so she began to support
Ahmed. She helped him with school fees, feeding and buying books. He promised
her he would never marry two wives even though he was a Muslim because he
didn’t want his children to ever go through what he went through plus of
course, he wouldn’t betray her in that manner. Martha believed him because her
father was a Muslim and her mother a Christian and he didn’t marry another wife.
After 15 years of marriage that produced 2 boys and a girl,
Ahmed who was now doing very well, decided to take another wife; a girl in the
vicinity who was in her early twenties. Martha nearly went mad. As I narrate
this, she isn’t still very stable mentally. There was nothing she didn’t do.
She confronted the girl and her family, fought for her man for several months
and of course took the matter to their families. Ahmed’s family of course told
her it wasn’t wrong according to their faith. After 5years of marriage, that
produced two kids, the girl just left the man. He went back to Martha who
forgave him. Less than two years later, he married again, this time to a
divorcee. I don’t know how she’s getting by right now.
Woman B: Laura married this police man [before he became the
head of a district] when she was 20years old. When she had a first child
through C section, the husband’s family was outraged. They told their son that
she had bad luck and wouldn’t have more than one child. This woman risked her
life, went against doctor’s orders and had 3 more kids. This shocked the family
of her husband and they were forced to accept her. Everything was going very
well until the policeman all of a sudden rented an apartment for another woman.
When Laura found out, she took the woman’s phone number from her husband’s
phone and began to call her every minute to threaten, beg sometimes and curse
her.
