Time to play dumb.

A lady that I see around walked up to me some days ago and told me that she needed my advice. I was surprised because I really didn't think that she would want to confide in me. She had this 'air' about her like she had all she needed.And she could afford a counsellor or something if she needed any help. Bottom line: She came to me and I was in for more surprises.


Pam{not her real name} told me that her step-sister's husband was giving her the 'eye'. (Jeez! It was weird enough that she came to me for advice and this?!)

Her step-sister was a very religious person and didn't believe that her equally religious husband could kill an ant. The guy appeared so. They lived in peace and harmony. The woman was a school teacher and The man worked in a bank.They had two beautiful boys. Pam had to stay at her step-sister's home every weekend to attend school because it was closer. The man would give her money, smile suggestively at her and throw compliments at her like it was going out of fashion when his wife wasn't within an ear shot. So she didn't know if it was okay to tell her sister that her husband had a roving eye. She wanted to know what I thought.

I had one question for her.

Lily: Has this man ever told you in clear words that he would want an intimate relationship with you?

Pam: (raises an eyebrow) Are you kidding me? What does that have to do with anything?

Lily: Answer my question Pam.

Pam: No. No he hasn't yet.

Lily: Do you still want my advice?

Pam: Obviously.

Lily: I believe that you are an incredibly smart woman but my dear, it is time to play dumb.

People, we know that issues like this are very sensitive. One has to be very careful who he/she talks to about it which is why I think Pam chose me because I barely knew her and would probably never know the people involved. Yes, I said she should play dumb. It would be better for everyone if Pam acted like she didn't understand what the man had in mind.

I think the only time she should act is when the man uses WORDS to explain his motives. A lot of people are already dealing with issues of husbands going out with their wives's sisters. The man said the word, the stupid sister agreed and together, they defiled the matrimonial bed of a woman who is clueless about what was going on and trusted them both. Now that is a huge problem.

I believe since he is just smiling suggestively and telling her how hot she looked, she should just act like it didn't mean anything. And avoid him like a plague. And she shouldn't tell anyone just yet. What good would that do? It is always a lose/lose situation for everyone. Yes, the woman confronts her husband and most times it doesn't end well, they go their separate ways. Then she is given a medal? No. Things would never be the same. Especially between she and her sister so if she is going to go down that road, let her at least have something serious on her hands.

Besides the guy could deny it and ask the crucial question, "Did i ask you out?". The answer would be no of course which is the truth.

When discussions of adulterous men come up and he is in the room, she should express her disgust in colourful language about men that cheat on their wives and preach a little too. And make it clear that she would never date a married man and help him cheat on his wife. Then add some drama by telling him that she is grateful to God that men like him that feared God still existed.

Pam laughed and told me she was glad she talked to me. She agreed with me.

Now I want to know what you guys think. And don't hold anything back.

May you all have the wisdom to deal with all the situations you find yourselves in this crazy, crazy world.

Lily Johnson