The Friend Zone

Of course we have all heard that before. Sometimes, someone is saying it as a joke or some guy (or girl) is telling a painful story about how some girl (or guy) after a whole lot of love and affection and stress, decided to put him (or her) in the dreaded monster island ruled by a half human half dragon creature called the friend zone.

I totally understand that when a man likes a woman romantically but for some reason, the woman doesn't feel the same way but feels they could be friends; it can't be easy for the man and he may want to move on and not be friends with the lady. In fact, I think that is the best for both parties.


What is baffling and completely crazy is this: When a woman tells a man from the beginning that she can't have a romantic relationship with him probably for a good reason like she is dating or engaged or she doesn't think it would work out between them and he decided to ...well, stay friends with her. Then all of a sudden, he starts complaining to the world that she put him in the friend zone and because it is such a crazy place that only 'weak' men allow themselves to be in, he becomes a totally hateful creature to the lady.

It isn't right if it was the woman that led the man on and on and made him believe that he had a chance with her and after raising the man's hopes, tell him she can only be friends with him. Yes, that should do a lot to anyone's ego. If that's the case, the man can safely write a book on the subject and we would all buy. But feeling this way when you were expressly told from the beginning and you lingered believing that he/she would change her mind about you and it didn't happen? Honey, it is nobody's fault.

Everything does depend on individuals. Some people have good relationships with people they had thought would be their lovers. For some people, the friend zone doesn't exist. If you like a person a lot to want to be in a romantic relationship with him/her, what is wrong with being friends? Might be a tad hard for some of us though.
Friendship is indeed a beautiful thing and I am one of the people that believe that your spouse/partner should be your friend. No matter how it comes, why not open your hearts to all the beautiful things that could come out of it?

Have a wonderful week!

Lily Johnson

Look out for Joe!

Before I say what I have in mind I must tell you my dear that I am not judging anyone. Who am I to do so? I am just going to say my mind. Period. And I am doing it because of some incidents that were rather disturbing that involved someone I know.
Women sometimes find themselves in some friendly associations with some men that they shouldn’t even be saying “hi” to but because of some emotional problems or even financial problems, we might just be friends with some guy because at that moment, he was being nice and caring.
Then some of us make the fatal mistake of allowing this stranger into our lives without taking time to find out who he really is. He becomes a friend, a confidante and a person we rely on and trust. Beware!
Myna had a boyfriend that she had been going out with on and off for three years. One day, she heard the news that her man had married some other lady who was heavily pregnant with his child. She locked herself up in her one room apartment and cried for days. It was like the world had ended for her. Four months later, she met another guy and they began dating. He was a great guy but his ego sometimes got in the way of the smooth running of things. He found it difficult to admit to a fault and when he did, he rarely apologized. The guy just didn’t ever say he was sorry. That frustrated Myna. She met Joe at a distant cousin’s house warming party. They got talking immediately. Joe was cute and funny. He made her laugh like she hadn’t in a long time. Myna was won over. She wasn’t the type that cheated on her man no matter what so he became her friend. He visited her and she visited him. She told her boyfriend about him and even introduced them. When Myna had problems with her man, he was there to make her laugh. Myna told him a lot of things about herself because she trusted him. One day, her emotions overwhelmed her and they had sex. And that was it.
Myna had told him that what happened was a mistake and would never happen again because she wasn’t that kind of girl and didn’t want anything that would ruin their friendship. Joe became a monster. He wasn’t going to accept that what happened was a mistake. He began to act strange, calling her names whenever it pleased him and for nothing. Then one day, after an argument over a trivial matter, Myna was seeing him off to the bus stop. When they got to the bus stop there was a group of people standing there and Joe suddenly started calling Myna names like “prostitute” and “public dog”. He made sure that he got the attention of the people around and called her more terrible names. He made a public spectacle of her. Myna couldn’t believe it. She told him that the friendship was over. She had had it.
After a few weeks, Joe tried to contact her but she made herself unavailable. Then he began to call her mobile number persistently. There were times that he called her fifty times a day. Myna didn’t pick his calls. He began to use other numbers and withheld numbers. He made Myna’s life miserable.
I think Myna made the mistake of letting him into her life so fast. Having sex with him was also a fatal mistake. If she had waited to find out who he was which I believe would have materialised, she would have found out that Joe was a jerk.
I know that sometimes weird things happen even to the most careful people on earth and some people are so crafty that you don’t find out a thing about them. But you have to always use your senses right girl. It is very important and more, it could save you from a rather embarrassing situation.

LILY JOHNSON